We live in a world where passing fantasy off as reality seems to be the normative. And why is that? I think it has just about everything to do with all of the virtual worlds that are accessible to us via the world wide web.
Since the dawn of chat rooms and social media sites like, Myspace, Facebook and Twitter, humankind has become indoctrinated with the idea that Grand Theft Auto, NBA live and such like, are real. Not to mention some hide behind their computer screens with fabricated identities, knowing fully well they could never live up to in person, the image they portray online.
Those who are honest and actually decide to step from behind the façade of the screen, end up being disappointed. Because the picture the other person painted in words and photographs through messenger, is not the same they see standing before them.
And don't even dare attempt to actually start a relationship with someone you've met online. Specifically one that's long distance. Because living in the fantasy of everything being lovely everyday becomes a daily routine. There aren't ever any REAL arguments, only those feel good emoji's being used to cover up what's really going on. People bite their tongues and stifle their opinions for the sake of maintaining the "perfect relationship" online. That is simply ridiculous, because again, if ever the time came to meet face to face, all of who you are and what you actually believe would come out!
Admittedly, I've been somewhat of a victim of this same mindset. I was in an online relationship that was the epitome of what we would call long distance. We weren't even on the same continent y'all! The beginning of things were fine, meaning our friendship. But when our feelings started to get involved, it became harder and harder to be satisfied with just chat and webcam dates. I dare say there's something completely priceless about meeting someone in the physical form. The virtual world can never offer us that. Oh they've tried to with Skype, but it's still just not enough. The temptation to participate in acts and conversations that should be saved until after marriage, is greater because you're looking for ways to feel closer to the person. It's a quest to find a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. In other words, it won't ever happen. So then this constructing of fantasies takes over, and before you know it, your entire relationship is built on a foundation of lies.
I struggled a great deal with this during what I call my virtual affair. Mainly because, for the most part I was trying to live my life outside of the virtual world in complete honesty. My life was driven by reality and dealing head-on with what was in the front of me. So to fluctuate between that and being in a relationship with a person who preferred to sweep disagreements under the carpet, instead of communicating to discover the problem? I was soooo not okay with that! I strongly felt like it was a cop-out, and realized our so-called relationship was being used as an escape for the both of us. And that's what happens within the virtual world. It's an escape from reality. My escape within our relationship was different from his. But nonetheless, we were both running from something!
Reader what are you using to escape the realities of your current life? Is it an online affair? Is it television? Is it shopping? Eating? Or substance abuse?
Consider that seriously for a moment...
Lastly, know that if we're not willing to face the truth in our lives, truths of rebellion, not being content with our portion, or plain undisciplined, we're only fooling ourselves! When you log off of that computer, and the end credits begin to scroll, you still have to deal with the person staring back at you in the mirror! So instead of hiding behind temporal and unreliable mechanisms that are fleeting; rest in the One who's always constant and consistent.
Jesus.
It's a lesson I too had to learn, so you're not alone. It CAN be done!
About the Author: Shan Mahogany is a recently published author of the book, Emphasis on Love; A compilation of Poems and is also the Co-Founder of Ink Trails Publishing, a Christian-based publishing company with a mission to establish a legacy of positive literary works. You can read more from Shan this summer in her upcoming short story entitled, In My Defense and her autobiography titled, Chasing Love: The Story of My Life, which will be released in the fall of this year.
Since the dawn of chat rooms and social media sites like, Myspace, Facebook and Twitter, humankind has become indoctrinated with the idea that Grand Theft Auto, NBA live and such like, are real. Not to mention some hide behind their computer screens with fabricated identities, knowing fully well they could never live up to in person, the image they portray online.
Those who are honest and actually decide to step from behind the façade of the screen, end up being disappointed. Because the picture the other person painted in words and photographs through messenger, is not the same they see standing before them.
And don't even dare attempt to actually start a relationship with someone you've met online. Specifically one that's long distance. Because living in the fantasy of everything being lovely everyday becomes a daily routine. There aren't ever any REAL arguments, only those feel good emoji's being used to cover up what's really going on. People bite their tongues and stifle their opinions for the sake of maintaining the "perfect relationship" online. That is simply ridiculous, because again, if ever the time came to meet face to face, all of who you are and what you actually believe would come out!
Admittedly, I've been somewhat of a victim of this same mindset. I was in an online relationship that was the epitome of what we would call long distance. We weren't even on the same continent y'all! The beginning of things were fine, meaning our friendship. But when our feelings started to get involved, it became harder and harder to be satisfied with just chat and webcam dates. I dare say there's something completely priceless about meeting someone in the physical form. The virtual world can never offer us that. Oh they've tried to with Skype, but it's still just not enough. The temptation to participate in acts and conversations that should be saved until after marriage, is greater because you're looking for ways to feel closer to the person. It's a quest to find a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. In other words, it won't ever happen. So then this constructing of fantasies takes over, and before you know it, your entire relationship is built on a foundation of lies.
I struggled a great deal with this during what I call my virtual affair. Mainly because, for the most part I was trying to live my life outside of the virtual world in complete honesty. My life was driven by reality and dealing head-on with what was in the front of me. So to fluctuate between that and being in a relationship with a person who preferred to sweep disagreements under the carpet, instead of communicating to discover the problem? I was soooo not okay with that! I strongly felt like it was a cop-out, and realized our so-called relationship was being used as an escape for the both of us. And that's what happens within the virtual world. It's an escape from reality. My escape within our relationship was different from his. But nonetheless, we were both running from something!
Reader what are you using to escape the realities of your current life? Is it an online affair? Is it television? Is it shopping? Eating? Or substance abuse?
Consider that seriously for a moment...
Lastly, know that if we're not willing to face the truth in our lives, truths of rebellion, not being content with our portion, or plain undisciplined, we're only fooling ourselves! When you log off of that computer, and the end credits begin to scroll, you still have to deal with the person staring back at you in the mirror! So instead of hiding behind temporal and unreliable mechanisms that are fleeting; rest in the One who's always constant and consistent.
Jesus.
It's a lesson I too had to learn, so you're not alone. It CAN be done!
About the Author: Shan Mahogany is a recently published author of the book, Emphasis on Love; A compilation of Poems and is also the Co-Founder of Ink Trails Publishing, a Christian-based publishing company with a mission to establish a legacy of positive literary works. You can read more from Shan this summer in her upcoming short story entitled, In My Defense and her autobiography titled, Chasing Love: The Story of My Life, which will be released in the fall of this year.
