Society will have you really confused if you let it.

If you’re always smiling, then you’re too nice.
But let the day come when you’re not smiling, and then there must be something wrong with you. You must have a chip on your shoulder.

If you cut your hair, you must be going crazy!                                                            
If you wear extensions then you must not be comfortable with your own hair.

If you speak up for yourself, then you’re too strong, too outspoken. If you say nothing then you’re too passive. If you express something about yourself that you don’t like then you have low self-esteem. But if you like yourself then you’re conceited.

If your praise to God is loud then you’re doing too much.
If your praise is quiet, then you’re not praising hard enough.

If you start a business, you’re risking too much.
If you work a 9-5, you’re a slave and have no dreams. Nobody stops to think that you may really enjoy your job.

You’re either too much of something for somebody or not enough for someone else.
How do you handle it? 

How do you keep from going crazy from everyone trying to fix you, telling you what you should and shouldn’t be, do or have? Stop feeding into it!!! Know that you are enough for God. He can handle everything about us. Be happy! Be yourself. If you’re eccentric, then be it! An introvert, be it! An extrovert, be it! God knew all about your personality before you were born. I’m not saying be the things that cause you or others harm and are displeasing to God. You like to dance, but have two left feet? Dance anyway! Do the best you can! Those who laugh are just holding up the wall, scared to live their life. You like being a home- body and a bookworm? Enjoy it!

We are accepted in the beloved. (Ephesians 1:6) If we will just be, we’ll soon come into contact with those who accept and celebrate who we are. Until we have those amazing connections, let’s celebrate who God made us to be. Let’s give Him the praise and thanks for how He knitted us together in our mother’s womb (Psalm 139:13); for how He summoned us by name and we are His (Isaiah 43:1) No more looking to the left or the right to see who’s watching; searching for approval from others who will snatch it all back the moment you do something that doesn’t please them.

What did God put in YOUR heart? What vision did God give YOU and for HIS glory? Go be it! Go do it! Without apology. Afterall, we’re God’s workmanship! Not men.

Ephesians 2:10 – For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand that we should walk in them. 

About the Author: Roshaunda Hayes is from Santa Monica, California. A mother of two children

ages 20 and 17 who enjoys reading and writing.  She is currently a full-time insurance professional and a part-time Life Coach. Roshaunda is an aspiring author who wants to help people love themselves God's way. In a world where people are taught to hate themselves, she believes her purpose in life is to help women, young and seasoned, to accept themselves as Christ already has.

Have you been full of excuses? Stressed? Exhausted? Well, me too. I haven’t written a blog in the past few months for the above reasons. Then, I take a second to realize what if God treated me how I treat

him. I sure don’t want the answer.

In so many ways, I have been convicted on the lack of time I have given God lately. I have given my time and energy to my worries and insecurities. I will share those.

I have been worried about work. I want to always give my best to my newest job. I pride myself on being fair, professional, etc. However, numerous hours, difficult personalities, decisions riding on my shoulders, I am constantly stressed with little rest. In this situation, I have to die to myself to realize that God brought me here and gave me this one opportunity amongst the hundreds I applied to. God will not leave me; this season is only to make me stronger. I need to realize its not about me, I need to continue to be an example of God’s kingdom and strive to put my best foot forward daily.

I have been feeling insecure about my weight. In the world of Instagram models and celebrities with “Jessica Rabbit” bodies, I see that I’m not there, yet. In fact at one point this year, I was teetering in the other direction. Eating healthy takes good decisions that when stressed you can’t always make. I have to die to my flesh and realize God brought me into the world in a healthy body that is my temple to maintain healthy. I cannot allow worries to keep me from the promise of a long, happy, healthy life.

I want a relationship with a man; I desire to be someone’s helpmeet. I’ve been single many years now. I sometimes question am I not good enough? What is the wait for? So, with my free will and loneliness, I walk into situations that aren’t God sent. I run into players, cheaters, men who are the exact opposite of the man of God I want. Then, I realize, I’m not ready. I have not become full in my relationship with God alone. Our relationship with God should be so unwavering that no matter when God that mate our eyes are always focused on him.

I listened to a sermon from Heather Lindsey on YouTube called “Overcoming Negative Thinking." It reminded me that all of the above stressors are just in my head from the things I listen to and read. Whether it is friends, blogs, TV shows, videos, all I have allowed to penetrate my way of thinking. I have to have control of those thoughts and realize God made me just the way I am, God provided the job I have, the food I eat, the heart I have for others, the desire for love and submission, etc. Guarding my life and heart from this not of God is my daily struggle.

If you feel any of the above, we are in the same boat. I want to remind each of you that God will love us even at times we don’t love ourselves. Tonight, I attended a youth event at Potters House of Denver. A young gentleman spoke on the topic of “Stop Running”. This put the fire under me to spend more time with God and share my journey and insecurities with others but mainly how God is so consistent. God’s love and grace for us will never end even in our sin. Does he want us to do better? 

Of course, but you are never far from his presence. Just like you make time for work, your favorite TV show, the club, your relationship, a vacation, etc. Set aside time for God alone. He will bless you and bring so much peace to your life. Die to yourself and choose God.

I leave you with a scripture and a song to meditate on…

“My sheep hear my voice, and I know them, and they follow me: And I give unto them eternal life; and they shall never perish, neither shall any man pluck them out of my hand.” ~John 10:27-28 

Tasha Cobb's: Grace

About the Author: Xavier Johnson is a graduate of North Carolina A&T SU (AGGIE PRIDE!!!) She is a new resident of Colorado, working as an engineer but can't forget that she is a Georgia girl at heart. Xavier is a firm believer in Jesus Christ. She is  really working on truly being a follower. There is a difference. Daily, she looks to die to her flesh and pick up God's mindset for her life. Xavier is also starting a new blog called, "Devoted Diva," in which she is promoting being BOLD for Christ. All of the entries there and those submitted to Memoirs will be a reflection of her journey towards a stronger walk with Christ. She truly hopes that someone is touched, changed and welcomes God in their hearts to stay after reading any of her personal revelations. Love Always, God Bless!

I started a lengthy process the other day.  I began organizing my closet.  It went as expected: I found articles of clothing I forgot I even had-some with tags, I found some clothing that was too small, I found some I am sure I will never wear again, and lastly I found some that were donated but were not for me to begin with.  What the last three points all have in common is this: they never would have been considered or removed if I had not initiated the task.  Like my closet, I noticed some things in my life as of late that were in need of some dire and thorough consideration.

This “reorganization” process mirrors what any person seeking growth experiences.  Take for instance the clothing I forgot I had.  There are some Christians who may be aware that God loves them and wants his best for them but have forgotten the power they have by the authority in the Name of Jesus.  In my experience I forgot that there are some issues that I don’t have to deal with- all I have to do is take authority over them in Jesus’ name and move forward. Just like the clothes with the tags on them, we don’t always know what we already have.

As a freshman I came to NC Central a size 3, 115 pounds.  Ten years later I’m about four sizes larger, x lbs heavier.  I’ll be frank: there’s nothing I can do with a size 3 other than look at it and flashback.  Therefore, imagine my surprise when I noticed a size 4 skirt in my closet.  I literally laughed.  That should have been either disposed of or given away several years ago but somehow it managed to make it into my closet after moving from dorm to dorm and apartment to apartment.  Consider the parallel: there are some things in our lives that should not still be here, and I dare add “some people.”  We have outgrown some ways of doing things, we have outgrown some people but for some reason we look up and these persons and things are still in our lives.  They are not beneficial in anyway, just taking up space from some article that actually belongs there.  Depending on the context of our experiences it may or may not be fun to flashback to those people or things but there is nothing else we can do with those articles but “flashback.” Very much like clothes, some things and people are seasonal.  They are not appropriate for where we are or may be headed.  A tank top is not adequate in the winter, and a sweater is a hindrance in the summer.

Another fact about me as a NCCU freshman is this: I was a party girl.  If the club was open I was there; it didn’t matter the time, the club location, or the theme.  I take that back, the only time I did not club was on New Year’s Eve.  That was only because my religious self would not allow me to be in a club when I knew that God kept me safe for a whole year (how foolish).  So, in my closet I found a few halter tops and cat suits.  Now, how in the world they managed to make it this long is beyond me.  I’m sure that I will never, ever need them again so why was I holding on to them?  Unlike the clothes I mentioned in the previous paragraph, these clothes weren’t even good for flashing back.  They served absolutely no purpose in my closet.  They were only a reminder of who I was and will never be again.  Kind of like old CD’s, old photos, or old habits.  Case and point.

Lastly, and my personal favorite:  the clothes that I should have never taken.  The clothes were never for me.  These clothes were given to me by others who believed it was a nice gesture, or that they would look nice on me, some I honestly believe, just wanted to get the clothing out of their own closets (No pun intended).  I did not have to accept them. Even more importantly, I did not have to keep them.  This idea is probably one of the most liberating to me.  There is an old adage: “When life gives you lemons, make lemonade.”  I personally like the remix of it: “when life gives you lemons, throw them back.”   There may have been times that you have been handed situations beyond your control, situations you would not have picked for yourself, specifically things you did not deserve.  Whatever the case, you don’t have to keep those things in your closet.  Have an open conversation with God and let him have those things.  Will to forgive others and move on. 

“Wherefore seeing we also are compassed about with so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which doth so easily beset us, and let us run with patience the race that is set before us,..(Hebrews 12:1)” Do not continue to hold on to things that are not for you, things that hinder your progress or growth.  Check your closet.  Assess where you are spiritually and decide what needs to be moved out, replaced, or trashed.

About the Author: Marisha Mathis is a spoken word poet, blogger and writer; just like every one

else, a product of grace with a story to tell.   After several years and transitions she has looked within herself to find who she truly is. So far, its she’s been established to be a plain Jane that has a passion for God, art, and helping others.  As a result, God has given her the gift of writing to use all three to sow hope, healing, and encouragement. You can read  more from Marisha at www.loveverbage.tumblr.com 

James 2:18 "But someone will say, "You have faith and I have works." Show me your faith apart from your works, and I will show you my faith by my works.”

Hebrews 11:1 "Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen."

If we say we have faith in God then we must live as we do. If we say we believe we are a new creation, born again, dead to sin, then as children of God, our actions, thoughts, motives, everything we do should be evidence of our faith.

 
From the way we give our lives over to him 100 percent. You see God desires to have all of you, not some of you. He wants to be included in everything. He wants you. From what time you wake up, to what time you go to sleep at night. He cares about what you eat and how you take care of the body he has given you. He cares about what you wear in and outside of your home. He cares about where you live and where you work. Who your friends are, where you go to school. Where you go on vacation. How many children to have. When to speak, when to stay quiet. How to love him and how to love others.

A verse of encouragement-Hebrews 12:11 "For the moment all discipline seems painful rather than pleasant, but later it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it."

About the Author: Andreana Barfield, loves the LORD.  She is married and has a 2-year-old daughter. Andreana is also a first generation Haitian American.  Born and raised in Brooklyn, NY, she currently works as an activities coordinator in a Social Adult Day Center.  Andreana enjoys reading, writing and seeing where the LORD takes her next.

Today I wanted to share something that is very intimate to me. Something that many might know but can’t understand.

I was 16 years old when I became pregnant with my oldest daughter, Evelyn. I was young, inexperienced and immature. I had chosen to sin against God and my parents and made a choice to have sex before marriage. The results of that was a child. A child that never asked to be brought to this earth, yet was on its way. Being 16 my reaction was honestly… It’s not a big deal. I thought to myself . Ok, I made this choice knowing the outcomes and here they are. Now it’s time to stop crying and deal with it." Easier said than done.

You see my parents were pastors and they had sat me down and explained fornication but now what I had done in God’s eyes, I sang and played drums/bass in the worship team and was sat down until I fixed my sin. This is the proper way to do it. (Christian parents please know it’s more than singing or playing its ministering to people of God. If you know your child is deep sin you should sit them down until they have fixed it with God)  Anyway, the options were should I abort the child? Many came to this conclusion and I just couldn’t even imagine doing that. Should I give the child and place it up for adoption? That’s what some suggested still to the day of my daughters birth. I just knew I had to take responsibility for this soul and learn along the way. Should I give the child to my parents so I can live my life? WHAT life?! I would not be able to function knowing I had a child I wasn’t taking care of. Should I ask my then “baby daddy” to take her? Not at all. These are all ways I’ve seen parents handle their teenagers when caught in this sin. I know this is very unpopular in our world and I know many would consider themselves better parents that mine because of their decision on how to deal with my fornication. Marriage. 

“How dare they choose for a 16 year old what’s best for her, clearly she’s smart enough to to make good decisions!” Right? Ha! I wish more parents would chose what’s best for their idiotic 16 year old’s. “That’s the pastors family?!” I would hear. “I would never allow my child to have sex before marriage!” Some said, that was my favorite one since these people clearly thought my parents gave me the green light to sin. These people didn’t realize I’m a sinner too. I made these choices when my parents thought I was in school. They never let me out of their sight. My only time was school. At 16, kids are selfish. I was never one to be selfish about things but still the decisions I made, were clearly out of my own fleshly desire not thinking of my parent’s ministry that they later lost partly because of what I did. That’s selfish. Try caring that on your shoulders.

My parents with all wisdom and faithfulness to God did what they saw to be right and went to the court house and asked the judge to marry me to someone I hardly knew. 4 months to be exact. The judge, since I was 16 had to choose. Not my parents. She did a background check on his family and mine and determined I should not. But my parents asked her to let them do what’s right in God’s eyes and she said yes. So there I was, 16, pregnant and married to a guy I hardly knew and who also wasn’t Christian oh and who was of a different culture and age. How was I going to win? By the time my daughter was born January 10th 2008, I was 17 and five months married. Didn’t know how to cook, I thought my apartment was “clean”. I had no idea what to do as far as being a wife to someone so different from me. So you might ask “why did your parents make you get married? And are you resentful they did that?"
As a Christian I understood fornication. Sex before marriage. I understood what God had said about the topic. 1 Corinthians 6:18-20 Flee from sexual immorality. Every other sin a person commits is outside the body, but the sexually immoral person sins against his own body. Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God? You are not your own, for you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body. So knowing this, I knew the baby wasn’t a sin. What I had done was a sin.

The bible says to repent and confess. When I found out what I had done, what it really meant my heart hurt, I couldn’t breath, I felt a pain in my heart for what I had done. 1 John 1:9 If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. Having a relationship with God again made me understand and what I had to do. I wasn’t perfect all of a sudden I just understood what I was to do as a wife and mother but still had much to learn. I was to be responsible for the baby and to be of an example to my unconverted husband of age 19. My husband not being Christian and me now being could have been an excuse for me to get rid of him and on with the next. But that’s not how God works. We must be wise and fight for our homes until the very last day. 1 Corinthians 7:13-14 If any woman has a husband who is an unbeliever, and he consents to live with her, she should not divorce him. For the unbelieving husband is made holy because of his wife, and the unbelieving wife is made holy because of her husband. Otherwise your children would be unclean, but as it is, they are holy. Not a very popular way to see things but this how God was telling us to do things. This is how I believe any Christian believing wife should handle it first. Now, do I hold it over my parents head that they made me get married? Absolutely not. Proverbs 20:7 The righteous who walks in his integrity blessed are his children after him. 

My parents knew what to do and I had to honor that. Up until then I made decisions on my own that lead me where I was. I’m thankful. If it had been up to me, I would of never gotten married and my husband would of never known Jesus and I would of never learned to be responsible, I would of never learned that there are consequences to my actions, I would of never stopped being selfish, arrogant, bratty and disrespectful. I would of never learned to love God the way I do and that sometimes tough love is needed but trusting God and being faithful is always good and he is just to bless the marriage that is fixed. To be clear I don’t judge single moms and I believe an abusive relationship is no relationship and would NEVER condone anyone to marry an abusive man. Men addicted to drugs and alcohol, only God can work in that if they open their hearts to him. Or if they leave you. But the Christian excuses I hear are not of God. We had EVERYTHING going against us. Our age, I was 16 he was 19. I was a new Christian, he didn’t know who God was or why I was acting “different”, our race, he was American and I was Mexican, many of the things we saw were a BIG deal he thought were normal. Racism, I was called a dog because he mixed his race with me. All this and more and we had NOTHING in common but our sin.

The only thing that brought us together was GOD. But because I was faithful to God in being of example Chris opened his heart to God. This took 4 years by the way. Fixing our sin he was faithful to us in leading us, cleaning us and preparing us to where we are. I can’t imagine life without my daughters, without my husband, I couldn’t imagine where I would be. As I look forward to turning 25, September 29th. I look back at our short 8 years of marriage how much God has restored, renewed, fixed, and loved us. How my parents decision was the start to my happy life in Christ. To my husbands coming to repentance and restoration. To our family and the future we will create. I pray today that if you’re single because a man left you with a child that you will seek God’s will and forgiveness If you’ve sinned like I and you’ll see how God will lead you to a life of marriage one day.

If you’re a teen mom to not give up and look to the one who knows your name, surround yourself with Godly women who will guide you. If you’re a parent who knows God, to pray for wisdom and do his will and let us not be like the priest Eli who never corrected his son’s and look how he ended up. Never be afraid as a parent to do the Lords will even if your kids don’t agree or like it. Better is to please the lord and not men. I pray we may encourage younger woman to wait until marriage. To encourage those unequally yoked to be their spouses salt and light. I love Gods ministry of restoration. This is just a little bit of what God has done in our life’s and I hope its of blessing.

About the Author:  Ana Nelson is now 24 years old and married to her husband Chris. They have two daughters. She loves to cook, garden, run and be of help to other young women. Ana says its by God's grace that she and her husband have been married since she was 16 and she wishes she would have had the help she has now, at that age. Her wish is to help young women in a world that ridicules Christian women and their calling. Read more from Ana by visiting her blog, "Soft Hearts, Strong Minds."