"I wish that all of you were as I am. But each of you has your own gift from God; one has this gift, another has that." ~1 Corinthians 7:7

The Apostle Paul, refers to his state of singleness as a gift. Many of you are probably thinking to yourself, “Well God, if singleness is a gift, then it’s one that you can take back!” For many, it’s hard to think of singleness as a gift, but during this season of my life where I am very single, God has given me such a revelation on how much of a gift this season really is! Let me start by saying this: I have never been in a relationship in all of my 19 years of living, but I have observed many relationships growing up. Unfortunately, none of them were relationships that have honored God and placed Him first, but when I gave my life to Christ, I began to be exposed to couples who were honoring God, courting His way, and keeping Him first. These couples consisted of people who honored God, even in their single life, so the idea of maintaining godly principles in their relationship was not a foreign or outlandish concept. By the grace of God, I am able to offer a unique perspective on relationships and how singleness is truly a gift after all, having not ever been in a relationship! 

Our single season is a precious time where we can develop in God, be healed from our pasts, learn the Word, and ultimately devote our time and our lives to the Lord. I find many women waiting for their “Boaz” while missing out on the precious time that they can have with God! Paul later goes on to say in verses 32 through 34, “I would like you to be free from concern. An unmarried man is concerned about the Lord’s affairs – how he can please the Lord. But a married man is concerned about the affairs of this world – how he can please his wife – and his interests are divided. An unmarried woman or virgin is concerned about the Lord’s affair: Her aim is to be devoted to the Lord in both body and spirit. But a married woman is concerned about the affairs of this world – how she can please her husband.” First and foremost, what many women (and men) don’t understand is that a relationship is work. Of course there will be fun moments and great times, but that does not negate the fact that a relationship is work. Those of us who are blessed with the gift of singleness for however many seasons of our life the Lord blesses us with this gift, we are free from concern! This is in no way, me trying to make marriage and courtships out to be a negative thing, because relationships are God’s idea and they are beautiful when God is in the midst of it, but this is me trying to get you to understand that singleness is not a curse. A married person’s interest are divided. They are focused on pleasing their spouse, and the Lord. However, those of us who are single can devote our time completely to the Lord. There is so much that we can do for the Kingdom during this time. It’s a precious time that shouldn’t be wasted in waiting. 

As stated previously, as single people we are able to devote our time completely to the Lord. Something that I’ve noticed is that some of us either don’t want to do that, or put it to the side as something we’ll do later, knowing full well that we have no intentions on doing devoting our time to the Lord. With the time that we have, we can spend so much of it with God. During this particular season in my life, after getting saved, while I didn’t fill my time with seeking out relationships I definitely spent a bunch of it on social media, scrolling my life away so this is something that I have been guilty of as well. I was the person who put it aside until later. I would say, “Okay, at 7:30, I’ll read my Bible” but when 7:30 came, I pushed it up 10 minutes and another 10 minutes until I had wasted another hour on social media, so I definitely understand how that happens. However, I had to get real with myself and ask myself, “Where is my heart? Why am I able to put so much time into filling myself up with people’s lives rather than filling myself up with the Word of God?” It’s a heart check that I needed, and I know many others need to as well. Where are our hearts? Why are we so focused on seeking relationships, spending hours on social media, etc. and not fully devoting our time to God? Many of us aren’t lonely when we’re filling up our time with these void fillers; many of us are bored! 

This leads me perfectly into my next point: Go out and live! Although I’ve been single for my entire (short) life, it was only after I got saved that I really began to learn who I was and how to abundant life really is with Christ. This season of my life has been a beautiful time of self-discovery and growth. I’ve learned so much about myself! For instance, I never knew how much I loved History until I sought God wholeheartedly. It’s so incredible to me that in seeking God, we’ll learn about ourselves. During this time, if you want to serve in 10 ministries at your church? Go for it. You want to hold Bible studies at your house? Do it. Fellowship with your sisters in Christ. Go to museums, zoos, and skating rinks with your friends, while of course making sure to always honor God in everything that we do. I’m definitely not saying go out to clubs and get drink. But there are so many ways that you can have fun while honoring God and still have fun! Being single does not equate to having nothing to do. It also does not equate to sitting around and waiting for a man to begin to live your life. 

So, yes. As crazy as it may seem, singleness is a beautiful gift from the Lord that should not be taken for granted. I pray that this encourages every single one of you to enjoy whatever season God has blessed you to be in, whether that is singleness, courtship, marriage, or marriage with children. No matter what circumstance we’re in, we need not ever feel that we are “cursed.” God loves us so much, through every season of our lives! 

About the Author: Anijeh Green is currently a sophomore in college. She is majoring in Education with a concentration in English. She's completely in love with Jesus Christ and excited about the life that He has called her to lead. Anijeh hopes to bless people with her love and gift of writing. 

A while back I watched Thor for the first time (yes I’m a fan of

Marvel) the movie was pretty good. It was the beginning of Thor’s story it showed where he’d come from. Thor was the heir to his father’s throne, in the beginning he was a short tempered hothead who thought that he knew everything. He figured that his father’s tactics on running a kingdom were old and outdated so he took matters into his own hands on an issue that his father had told him that he would handle. Needless to say when he stepped outside of his fathers will things turned ugly really quick and his father had to come to the rescue. Thor was immediately brought back to his planet and punished. To make a long story short he was stripped of his power and banished to earth. He was not able to receive his power back until he had proved himself mature enough and worthy of such power.

That movie got me to thinking, we as children of God are a lot like the character of Thor at times. We grow impatient thinking that maybe God doesn’t know what He is doing and that maybe He could use a little help. Maybe He forgot what He promised, so we decide that we will go ahead and make things happen. But Isaiah 40:31 tells us: "But they who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles; they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint."
If you wait on the Lord He will do what he said He was going to do and you won’t burn yourself out trying to play God, usually making matters worse. Whenever God is making us wait it is a time of preparation. 2 Peter 3:9 says, "The Lord is not slow to fulfill his promise as some count slowness, but is patient toward you, not wishing that any should perish, but that all should reach repentance." He wants to be sure that we are ready and mature enough to handle all that He is about to give and ready to go where He is about to take you.

In your season of waiting, regardless of what you’re waiting on it could be for a new home, a new job, to get married, to have a child, whatever it may be now is the time to draw closer to Him see what He wants you to do. Listen for His voice, He is always speaking. Draw closer to Him and He will draw closer to you (James 4:8)

Listen out for Him because He is seeking to prepare you. Allow Him to prepare your mind for that new job, to prepare you to be a righteous wife for that righteous husband you are seeking, allow Him to mold you into a nurturer so that you are prepared for your first child. Remember He is on your side and He loves you!

　

Reflection
Think back and reflect on the times we felt the need to "help" God.

How did the situation turn out? Did you end up worse off than when you started out?

What will you do differently in your season of waiting?

Prayer
Dear Lord please help me not to be anxious in my time of waiting. Help me to remove my emotions out of the equation for I know that the seasons, months, days, hours, minutes, and seconds belongs to you. Time is in your hands and it is not in my own time but in yours. Help me to focus on you and to draw closer to you. Remove the distractions and the voices of man telling me that if it was going to happen it would have happened by now, out of the way. Help me to lean to wait for your voice before I proceed in any aspect of my life. Amen.

About the Author: Sheterica Gordon is a daughter, sister, aunt, poet, writer, and the CEO of the P.R.E.T.T.Y (Princesses Radically Evolving Together Through Yahweh) an outreach ministry. The desire to start a ministry to help, uplift, and edify young women was placed in her heart 2 years ago and it wasn't until June 14, 2014 that she took that giant leap of faith and held the first meeting for P.R.E.T.T.Y. Sheterica is extremely excited about this ministry and where it will go in the years to come. Not only because she has some amazing people in her corner but because our Father in heaven, Jesus Christ is at the head leading the way. Connect with Shaterica for more encouragement on Instagram as @Pretty_Princesses_14, on Facebook as Pretty61414, or email her at Pretty61414@gmail.com 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

                                   

 

Dear Future Husband,

I'm so eager to finally know for sure who you are. I wish I could see what you look like standing there down the aisle gleaming with pride seeing me for the first time, as the church doors open and I cling to my Dad's arm fighting back tears. Tears of joy knowing that I am finally becoming someone's wife. Tears I will fight with every bit of strength I have because I do not want that mascara running down my face.

Yes, my eyes even tear up now as I write this.

The whole fantasy is played out in my head as though I were either watching it on a TV screen or living it out in real life. One of my favorite Boyz II Men songs will be sang A Capella. Your best man will put his hand on your shoulder to give you a congratulatory pat and to help you stay strong as you view your bride for the first time. The minister will smile with pride knowing that the pre-marital counseling was fruitful. The bridesmaids will be smiling, perhaps a little misty eyed themselves as they look at me and then look to you to see that first glance. Our mothers will be crying and smiling. Relatives and friends from near and far will seem to be glowing at the sight of our holy matrimony. You are wearing a nice tux or suit and I'm graced in an elegant wedding gown, slowly walking to take on a new name and a new ministry as your helpmeet.

Sounds beautiful doesn't it? No wonder I'm obsessed with the idea.

By now I've spent most of my single life up until this day, this day that the two become one, worrying about you and about marriage. Every Christian book and blog there is with sound advice on the matter, I've read. Many a Christian ministries have capitalized off of me (and plenty of other women) that wanted advice on godly dating, how to be a wife, courtship, resisting lust/temptation/sex before marriage and that's been my focus. Many men came before you and a few of those were after I became serious about my walk with Christ and what did I do? I was trying my hardest to make them you because I was following along with those books/blogs/Christian women's ministers/speakers. I followed the rules, trying to force those rules and myself on them, and ran them away. But this time, I followed God and you ran to me!

I hope and pray that before you read this letter, that I decided to give God my whole heart and to pursue a relationship with him and not a man. I pray that I can allow him to use me in ministries and in spreading the GOSPEL. Because truth be told, I'm sick of everyone spreading "single/marriage/courting/dating/sex" advice and not spreading the one true act of love that is eternal, fulfilling, and lasting...the death of Jesus Christ on the cross of Calvary! I know that this is a scripture that we are going to use in the ceremony that will bind our earthly love and marriage. But I also think that this scripture points to an everlasting love and a heavenly marriage between Christ and his Church (us):


"Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance. Prophecy and speaking in unknown languages will become useless. But love will last forever!" - 1 Corinthians 13:4-8

As much as I love you my now husband, I cannot promise that I will be patient, kind, not jealous/boastful, not irritable, and not keeping records of the things you do that really irk my nerves haha all of the time nor perfectly. I can't guarantee that I won't be petty sometimes and be happy when "karma" comes back on you. I can't guarantee that I won't want to give up sometimes, lose faith, or remain hopeful during rough patches at times. But I know that since God is love and is perfect that he can give us all that kind of love! Not only that, but that scripture above says "But love will last forever". Our vows say "Til death do us part.." As much as we will repeat our vows with excitement and passion, our "forever" will end when our spirits leave our bodies. But that's okay because Romans 8:37-38 remind me that not even death can separate us from the love of Christ.

So my husband, I pray that while we are both single (as I write this) that we seek that love with all of our hearts and spread it with all of our might to those out there that don't know it and/or need to hear it the most. And I pray that when we get married that we don't let this wedding day or our lives as husband and wife consume us so much that we forget to continue spreading that love and making disciples for Christ.

Love you,

Your Future Wife

Daphne Benford-Smith

About the Author: Daphne Benford-Smith is a recent graduate from the University of North Texas. A single woman that lives by "If you're not living for the Lord, I'm not your Ruth so take your Boaz somewhere else!" Avid writer for her blog "Confessions of a Christian Woman" or daphnemariahandjc.blogspot.com as a hobby. She's an  educator because it's her passion and purpose. And is ultimately a woman that is seeking the Lord with all her heart because He's all she's got! Although she's not perfect in that walk and has painful or funny stories she shares with the world through writing as a result."