Today I wanted to share something that is very intimate to me. Something that many might know but can’t understand.

I was 16 years old when I became pregnant with my oldest daughter, Evelyn. I was young, inexperienced and immature. I had chosen to sin against God and my parents and made a choice to have sex before marriage. The results of that was a child. A child that never asked to be brought to this earth, yet was on its way. Being 16 my reaction was honestly… It’s not a big deal. I thought to myself . Ok, I made this choice knowing the outcomes and here they are. Now it’s time to stop crying and deal with it." Easier said than done.

You see my parents were pastors and they had sat me down and explained fornication but now what I had done in God’s eyes, I sang and played drums/bass in the worship team and was sat down until I fixed my sin. This is the proper way to do it. (Christian parents please know it’s more than singing or playing its ministering to people of God. If you know your child is deep sin you should sit them down until they have fixed it with God)  Anyway, the options were should I abort the child? Many came to this conclusion and I just couldn’t even imagine doing that. Should I give the child and place it up for adoption? That’s what some suggested still to the day of my daughters birth. I just knew I had to take responsibility for this soul and learn along the way. Should I give the child to my parents so I can live my life? WHAT life?! I would not be able to function knowing I had a child I wasn’t taking care of. Should I ask my then “baby daddy” to take her? Not at all. These are all ways I’ve seen parents handle their teenagers when caught in this sin. I know this is very unpopular in our world and I know many would consider themselves better parents that mine because of their decision on how to deal with my fornication. Marriage. 

“How dare they choose for a 16 year old what’s best for her, clearly she’s smart enough to to make good decisions!” Right? Ha! I wish more parents would chose what’s best for their idiotic 16 year old’s. “That’s the pastors family?!” I would hear. “I would never allow my child to have sex before marriage!” Some said, that was my favorite one since these people clearly thought my parents gave me the green light to sin. These people didn’t realize I’m a sinner too. I made these choices when my parents thought I was in school. They never let me out of their sight. My only time was school. At 16, kids are selfish. I was never one to be selfish about things but still the decisions I made, were clearly out of my own fleshly desire not thinking of my parent’s ministry that they later lost partly because of what I did. That’s selfish. Try caring that on your shoulders.

My parents with all wisdom and faithfulness to God did what they saw to be right and went to the court house and asked the judge to marry me to someone I hardly knew. 4 months to be exact. The judge, since I was 16 had to choose. Not my parents. She did a background check on his family and mine and determined I should not. But my parents asked her to let them do what’s right in God’s eyes and she said yes. So there I was, 16, pregnant and married to a guy I hardly knew and who also wasn’t Christian oh and who was of a different culture and age. How was I going to win? By the time my daughter was born January 10th 2008, I was 17 and five months married. Didn’t know how to cook, I thought my apartment was “clean”. I had no idea what to do as far as being a wife to someone so different from me. So you might ask “why did your parents make you get married? And are you resentful they did that?"
As a Christian I understood fornication. Sex before marriage. I understood what God had said about the topic. 1 Corinthians 6:18-20 Flee from sexual immorality. Every other sin a person commits is outside the body, but the sexually immoral person sins against his own body. Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God? You are not your own, for you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body. So knowing this, I knew the baby wasn’t a sin. What I had done was a sin.

The bible says to repent and confess. When I found out what I had done, what it really meant my heart hurt, I couldn’t breath, I felt a pain in my heart for what I had done. 1 John 1:9 If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. Having a relationship with God again made me understand and what I had to do. I wasn’t perfect all of a sudden I just understood what I was to do as a wife and mother but still had much to learn. I was to be responsible for the baby and to be of an example to my unconverted husband of age 19. My husband not being Christian and me now being could have been an excuse for me to get rid of him and on with the next. But that’s not how God works. We must be wise and fight for our homes until the very last day. 1 Corinthians 7:13-14 If any woman has a husband who is an unbeliever, and he consents to live with her, she should not divorce him. For the unbelieving husband is made holy because of his wife, and the unbelieving wife is made holy because of her husband. Otherwise your children would be unclean, but as it is, they are holy. Not a very popular way to see things but this how God was telling us to do things. This is how I believe any Christian believing wife should handle it first. Now, do I hold it over my parents head that they made me get married? Absolutely not. Proverbs 20:7 The righteous who walks in his integrity blessed are his children after him. 

My parents knew what to do and I had to honor that. Up until then I made decisions on my own that lead me where I was. I’m thankful. If it had been up to me, I would of never gotten married and my husband would of never known Jesus and I would of never learned to be responsible, I would of never learned that there are consequences to my actions, I would of never stopped being selfish, arrogant, bratty and disrespectful. I would of never learned to love God the way I do and that sometimes tough love is needed but trusting God and being faithful is always good and he is just to bless the marriage that is fixed. To be clear I don’t judge single moms and I believe an abusive relationship is no relationship and would NEVER condone anyone to marry an abusive man. Men addicted to drugs and alcohol, only God can work in that if they open their hearts to him. Or if they leave you. But the Christian excuses I hear are not of God. We had EVERYTHING going against us. Our age, I was 16 he was 19. I was a new Christian, he didn’t know who God was or why I was acting “different”, our race, he was American and I was Mexican, many of the things we saw were a BIG deal he thought were normal. Racism, I was called a dog because he mixed his race with me. All this and more and we had NOTHING in common but our sin.

The only thing that brought us together was GOD. But because I was faithful to God in being of example Chris opened his heart to God. This took 4 years by the way. Fixing our sin he was faithful to us in leading us, cleaning us and preparing us to where we are. I can’t imagine life without my daughters, without my husband, I couldn’t imagine where I would be. As I look forward to turning 25, September 29th. I look back at our short 8 years of marriage how much God has restored, renewed, fixed, and loved us. How my parents decision was the start to my happy life in Christ. To my husbands coming to repentance and restoration. To our family and the future we will create. I pray today that if you’re single because a man left you with a child that you will seek God’s will and forgiveness If you’ve sinned like I and you’ll see how God will lead you to a life of marriage one day.

If you’re a teen mom to not give up and look to the one who knows your name, surround yourself with Godly women who will guide you. If you’re a parent who knows God, to pray for wisdom and do his will and let us not be like the priest Eli who never corrected his son’s and look how he ended up. Never be afraid as a parent to do the Lords will even if your kids don’t agree or like it. Better is to please the lord and not men. I pray we may encourage younger woman to wait until marriage. To encourage those unequally yoked to be their spouses salt and light. I love Gods ministry of restoration. This is just a little bit of what God has done in our life’s and I hope its of blessing.

About the Author:  Ana Nelson is now 24 years old and married to her husband Chris. They have two daughters. She loves to cook, garden, run and be of help to other young women. Ana says its by God's grace that she and her husband have been married since she was 16 and she wishes she would have had the help she has now, at that age. Her wish is to help young women in a world that ridicules Christian women and their calling. Read more from Ana by visiting her blog, "Soft Hearts, Strong Minds."

The following guest post has been contributed to "Memoirs of a Virtuous Woman" by an anonymous writer that hopes you're encouraged by her words of incredible strength from a painful past. She reminds you that God is always waiting on you to find your way back to the cross, no matter how far lost you have walked away from the narrow path. He's waiting. He's listening. He's watching. And his unchanging hand will always welcome you back.



Hey ladies! First, I would like to thank God for allowing me out of my past and giving me the opportunity to minister and speak life into you! I'm here to tell you; no matter the circumstance, you are not your past, there is always a Road to Redemption. By His stripes we are all healed and He died for our transgressions. We have been reassured that our past is forgotten and our iniquities forgiven. Trust me, the news gets better! Not only will He forget your past; He will set it up in a way that others will not remember. Once you have repented and began your Road to Redemption, he will recreate you, make you anew, give you a new life. Isaiah 43:25 reminds us two truths:

                                              1.) He will blot out or erase our sins. 

                                              2.) He will no longer remember them. 

It is stated, "I, even I, am he who blots out your transgressions, for my own sake, and remembers your sins no more. " I'm here to tell you the life God has destined for you can not and will not be held back because of your past. Although you may get discouraged and life may get you down, there is power in the name of Jesus and there is strength in His word. I want you to know, NO MATTER what you have done, you can go to Him in prayer.

Which leads you to my story...

I grew up in the church and very connected to God. When I was sixteen I lost my virginity and most of my self esteem and self respect went with it. As time progressed my 'body count' had risen to about four in a matter of months; in the teens over two years; and now close to twenty. Beginning my freshman year of college I wanted to reinvent myself from the promiscuous spirit that I had developed. Little did I know, habit was oh so hard to break. I made myself feel better though by making sure that I only slept with a man if I were in a relationship with him ... well, that's after I had slept with two guys who were in relationships themselves. I remember I would 'talk' to a guy for a week then think it's ok to be with him. All because I felt like I was not being 'as promiscuous'.

Soon enough, I had fallen into a party lifestyle and I had been placed on academic probation. I was really living 'the life': you know, sex, drugs, and alcohol. I would still go to church every now and then; you know, to keep the lines of communication open; between me and God, so he didn't forget about me. Soon enough I had met my match. He was charming, sweet, hard working, a praying man!

But he didn't mind me smoking, drinking, partying, or our premarital sex. I trusted him, and fell for him. I fell pretty hard! FLAT ON MY FACE that is!

I had trusted him so much that we had stopped using condoms and never thought to use protection during oral sex. From that relationship, I contracted Chlamydia, Herpes, HPV, a broken spirit, a broken heart, a spirit of depression, a spirit of suicide, and a heart not willing to open up.

One night, I had taken sleeping pills, liquid sleeping medicine, about two or three shots of vodka, and slipped in the tub. I was ready for whatever would happen. It didn't work and over the course of about a month of battling to stay with him, praying to get through it, and about two more suicide attempts, I won. So, I began to heal, or so I thought. I went out with my girls and found me a man ... to sleep with

Why did I think the same way I got in this mess was the same way I'd get out?

Anyway, me and my girls went back to his place with him and his boys. They brought us alcohol and weed. We smoked and drank and was all feeling good! Me and the guy went into the back room and started to ... well, you know. Certainly I felt instant conviction. I told him to stop and he wouldn't. I was crying and asking him over and over to stop. I convinced myself that if I hadn't been drinking and out looking for trouble that would've never happened. Yes, that may be true, however, he also should have stopped. Since that night I have forgiven him. Simply because holding onto hurt much more than letting go.

One night after I thought I had healed (without the REAL help of God by the way), I found myself broken, yet again. Lonely. Scared. I wanted to smoke, I needed to get high. I didn't have any weed and couldn't find any on campus to buy. At that point, as I lay in my bed, I looked over and saw my Bible. I picked it up and started reading. It was then I realized when I had nothing I still had God. It was also then I realized I should never allow myself to be in a place where I say well, if I have nothing else, God I have you.

Since then, I have grown in ministry and I am definitely still growing in His name. You see sister, He will deliver you from your darkest places, because you have a calling on your life and you must fulfill your calling.

Romans 8:28-31 says, "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. For those God foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the image of his Son, that he might be the firstborn among many brothers and sisters. And those he predestined, he also called; those he called, he also justified; those he justified, he also glorified. What, then, shall we say in response to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us?" 

My sister! How glorious is it that we are reassured that our destiny is set in stone, that no one can erase our name and replace it with their own, my sister! How marvelous is this word that it comforts us at our darkest hours? He never said the weapons wouldn't form, He only said he wouldn't let them prosper my sister. My journey has not been perfect; however, my purpose is! I am blessed to go through what I have gone through. I'm stronger, more resilient, more loving, understanding, and kind. It's brought me back to My Father!

I am here to let you know today that it's going to be all right. Your breakthrough is coming, you have to hold on and wait until the morning to see it. You must understand your destiny is greater than your downfall! Speak life over yourself, cry it out in the shower, STAY in your word, have faith, and be be encouraged.

~Anonymously, GRlorious Redemption

Some say, "there's nothing wrong with with a little bump and grind" but in reality there's A LOT wrong with it and unfortunately many college bound girls will face that harsh reality as

they enter the beginnings of a new journey all around the world. A time of new experiences, friends, classes, locations-a time of freedom! For most freedom, for the first time in their lives. That freedom can be filled with nervousness or it can be filled with the desires to be wild outside of parental supervision. Either way, its a time of a change with big decisions on the path ahead of you. Along that path, you can either stray away from God's word and promise or you choose to stay on the narrow path. 
      
"Narrow is the path, that leads to life & only few find it."~Matt 7:14

If you're reading this and you're a professed Christian, I get it-you want to have fun. But having fun, can turn into more than you bargained for if your fun involves the pleasures of the world. Remember you body is a temple! I know its easy to get off track, if it weren't I wouldn't be writing this. Simply because I remember my freshman year as if it were yesterday, filled with innocence but unfortunately life brings us tests. The purpose of this post is to show you how to stay on the right track of keeping your promise to God, concerning your bodies. I honestly look back at the things I deemed "ok" and I'm disgusted by those things now. 

There's a reason why sex was meant for marriage and that's to protect us from detrimental soul-ties. I want to encourage you not to feed your fantasies with your boyfriends, not to listen to your friends that whisper to you how great sex is, in order to make you curious. Trust me, its not worth it. However, if you're one of those young women that have bought the hype, there's still another chance and God is the same God he's always been. He's a merciful God, so never be afraid to kneel and ask for forgiveness. Stay in his word and I promise he'll reveal things beyond what you've imagined. Trust me when I say, conviction is real. I'm not telling you what I heard, I'm telling you what I know and there's absolutely no person on this earth that is worth sinning your soul to the pits of hell for.

 I encourage you to stay away from the idea of friends with benefits. Stay away from the games that are meant to string your heart along the way, that you on the other hand think are cute. Once you've given up something so precious that belongs to your future spouse to a boyfriend, it will always be expected of you. So remember, don't start something that you can't finish so easily, to desire love at the end of the road. While you're thinking love, he's thinking lust. Stick to your standards! Know you are worth the wait! As always, you're urged to pray for discernment, in order to identify counterfeit people that enter your life. Those that take advantage of you, targeting you for sex and could care less about your mind or heart.  After you've read this post, search this blog for two other related posts, I've written titled, " The Unbearable Weight of Soul Ties" and "Have You Killed Your Flesh." 

"Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your body."~1 Corinthians 6:19-20

Stay encouraged and don't give up fighting the enemy!