Our Virtues Series: You Are Beloved, Interview with Torrie Chatman

This young lady is encouraging to all women that have felt as though they are at their end. Introducing Torrie Chatman, the latest interview for Memoirs of a Virtuous Woman's series, "Our Virtues." Torrie is the founder of Beloved, a women's ministry based in Birmingham, Ala. Lift your head up and be encouraged by Torrie's story of courage  and strength on her journey in Christ.

Tell readers about your briefly about your background.

I am every bit of a statistic that you can think of. I was born to a 17 year old girl her senior year of high school. She had an academic scholarship to college but couldn’t go because she got pregnant. For about a year between the ages of 8-9, I was molested by an aunt’s boyfriend. I got married for the first time when I was 18. He started hitting months before we got married and I said “I do” anyway. The hitting is not what made me leave him; him bringing his girlfriend to our home did. I went on to enroll in the best school in the nation: the University of Alabama (ROLL TIDE!). A couple of years later, I met a guy (It’s always a guy right?) , fell in love and got married again. Fifteen months into the marriage, I found out that my husband was cheating on me and not with women. I stayed & tried to work it out but the infidelity happened again. 

There are very few things that I haven’t walked through and it’s easy to talk about what has happened to me and not the stuff I happened to. It isn’t always someone else’s fault! I was manipulative, a liar, a thief, I would dumb myself down to make others feel better around me. I spoke death over people with my words. I clubbed, drank, and used men like doorknobs to make myself feel good about me. I was a lost & bruised soul. Then I met Jesus and my life was never the same again.

When did you began to truly walk the narrow path for Christ?

I experienced two very defining moments in my walk with Christ. I didn’t grow up in church. We went sparingly went during my childhood. Honestly, my family really didn’t start going until it came out that I had been molested but then church passed away after a while. I gave my life to Christ in my car alone in July 2006 while listening to the song “Imagine Me” by Kirk Franklin. Two weeks later, I got baptized. I was in my junior year of college and lived very legalistically for the first few months, in the dos and don’ts of Christianity so I fell off quickly. A year later, I joined a bible teaching church that taught me about relationship, worship and the love of Christ. I knew him as my Savior that first couple of months but didn’t truly know Him as my Lord. At Daystar Family Church is where I truly got my foundation and started my walk with the Lord

The second defining moment was when I started my ministry Beloved. I knew that I was going to lead women & profess Christ that I had to make some changes. I wasn’t living a sinful life but the path had gotten narrower. Things that were ok previously or I figured that “God knew my heart” was no longer acceptable. Lives that God had entrusted me with to speak over and sow into were at stake. I knew that I couldn’t take the responsibility lightly and  I didn’t want to. 

Tell us about your organization Beloved. As an southern Alabama young lady myself, on a mission to encourage women. Its great to see others here doing the same thing.

Beloved began in my living room on November 20, 2011. I didn’t have a name for the first month. I actually called it Girl Talk that first meeting. I sent out an Evite after I finally gave in to the leading of the Holy Spirit about my call with women. We didn’t have a set agenda. The plan was for everyone to bring a dish and we have open discussion about the things that were really going on in our lives. I remember telling God “If I’m going to do this, it has to be real.” For the first 30 minutes or so after we ate, we all gathered in the living room talking about surface, safe things then one woman took off her mask. She told us that she had been dealing with thoughts of suicide. Her transparency opened up the flood gates for everyone in the room to get whatever they had been dealing with off their chests. We started at 7 pm and the last woman left at 1:30 am. When I closed the door after everyone left, I knew that this was my purpose. 

I picked the name Beloved because it means prized, cherished, adored, and precious. It’s often a word used by a husband to describe his wife. So since we are His bride, we are all His beloved! Beloved is a safe haven for hurt and spiritually hurt women. The flow of our meeting is worship, speakers (1-2), prayer and open discussion. It gets real during open discussion but it’s totally safe and confidential. What happens at Beloved stays at Beloved. It’s come as you are and we have a strict policy that no one cries alone. Our goal is to establish a safe environment so that women can have an authentic experience with God alongside of our sisters. No matter how much we may fight, bicker, etc, women need women! The ages of our women are 18 and up. I love how on one side of the room, there could be a college student, newlywed, or single mom and on the other side is a grandmother, entrepreneur or author. Women from all different backgrounds and walks of life attend. 

Besides our monthly meetings, we have online bible studies, social outings and community service. Also, we have a webisode series titled the I Am series that has reached thousands all over the world. Everything about the ministry is on our website. 

What have you learned the most since being in the body of Christ?

I’ve learned the most that God is truly for us. He’s my hero and the lover of my soul. I’m amazed that His arm was long enough to reach in the depths of the earth to save a wretch like me. 

Why do you think so many women feel alone in their struggles? 

Our generation & the ones before us grew up being taught “Don’t tell anyone your business. What happens in the house stays in this house”, etc. Inadvertently, we have been told to always present ourselves as if everything is going fine and that your life is together. No one ever said that it was ok to not be ok until recently. People in our generation, all over the world are standing in their truth, good, bad and the oh so ugly but it’s still a struggle because it’s was ingrained in us to cover it up. When we are open about our struggles, it allows someone else to know that they aren’t alone. Satan has a way of making us feel like we are the only one going through whatever and the way to handle it is to cover it up with makeup, clothes, a fake smile & a prompt “ I’m blessed and highly favored!” when you are asked how we are doing. If we allow him to kill our voices, steal our identities and destroy our focus, we will never reach our full potential.

What do you think are the biggest issues plaguing our young women today?

I looked at several things that plague our young women today: views on beauty (size, complexion, hair), relationship/status/ money driven, compromising our standards, etc. I think it mostly boils down to a self-esteem issue. Us not truly knowing who we are in Christ and in return, we are allowing this world to tell us who we are & whether we’ve “arrived”.  I truly think that self-esteem is at an all-time low because of social media. 

If you could tell a young lady that feels no hope, or is in the same shoes you once were, one thing, what would it be?

Love…. It won’t always be like this. The beautiful thing about seasons is that even they HAVE to change. Whether someone pushed you in this pit or your own decisions got you here, know that you need to learn the lesson being taught. Don’t stop moving your feet when the pain gets unbearable. In it says “though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death…”; don’t allow the lesson to permanently paralyze you. Cry, pray, scream, read you bible and apply it to your life and keep going. You’ll eventually come out on the other side with more resilience and courage. You will need it! Someday, someone will need you to tell them the same thing. 

How can others connect with Beloved if they're in the Birmingham area?

On our website, which is www.WomenofBeloved.com

Facebook: Women of Beloved

Instagram and Twitter: WomenofBeloved