Die to Yourself

Have you been full of excuses? Stressed? Exhausted? Well, me too. I haven’t written a blog in the past few months for the above reasons. Then, I take a second to realize what if God treated me how I treat

him. I sure don’t want the answer.

In so many ways, I have been convicted on the lack of time I have given God lately. I have given my time and energy to my worries and insecurities. I will share those.

I have been worried about work. I want to always give my best to my newest job. I pride myself on being fair, professional, etc. However, numerous hours, difficult personalities, decisions riding on my shoulders, I am constantly stressed with little rest. In this situation, I have to die to myself to realize that God brought me here and gave me this one opportunity amongst the hundreds I applied to. God will not leave me; this season is only to make me stronger. I need to realize its not about me, I need to continue to be an example of God’s kingdom and strive to put my best foot forward daily.

I have been feeling insecure about my weight. In the world of Instagram models and celebrities with “Jessica Rabbit” bodies, I see that I’m not there, yet. In fact at one point this year, I was teetering in the other direction. Eating healthy takes good decisions that when stressed you can’t always make. I have to die to my flesh and realize God brought me into the world in a healthy body that is my temple to maintain healthy. I cannot allow worries to keep me from the promise of a long, happy, healthy life.

I want a relationship with a man; I desire to be someone’s helpmeet. I’ve been single many years now. I sometimes question am I not good enough? What is the wait for? So, with my free will and loneliness, I walk into situations that aren’t God sent. I run into players, cheaters, men who are the exact opposite of the man of God I want. Then, I realize, I’m not ready. I have not become full in my relationship with God alone. Our relationship with God should be so unwavering that no matter when God that mate our eyes are always focused on him.

I listened to a sermon from Heather Lindsey on YouTube called “Overcoming Negative Thinking." It reminded me that all of the above stressors are just in my head from the things I listen to and read. Whether it is friends, blogs, TV shows, videos, all I have allowed to penetrate my way of thinking. I have to have control of those thoughts and realize God made me just the way I am, God provided the job I have, the food I eat, the heart I have for others, the desire for love and submission, etc. Guarding my life and heart from this not of God is my daily struggle.

If you feel any of the above, we are in the same boat. I want to remind each of you that God will love us even at times we don’t love ourselves. Tonight, I attended a youth event at Potters House of Denver. A young gentleman spoke on the topic of “Stop Running”. This put the fire under me to spend more time with God and share my journey and insecurities with others but mainly how God is so consistent. God’s love and grace for us will never end even in our sin. Does he want us to do better? 

Of course, but you are never far from his presence. Just like you make time for work, your favorite TV show, the club, your relationship, a vacation, etc. Set aside time for God alone. He will bless you and bring so much peace to your life. Die to yourself and choose God.

I leave you with a scripture and a song to meditate on…

“My sheep hear my voice, and I know them, and they follow me: And I give unto them eternal life; and they shall never perish, neither shall any man pluck them out of my hand.” ~John 10:27-28 

Tasha Cobb's: Grace

About the Author: Xavier Johnson is a graduate of North Carolina A&T SU (AGGIE PRIDE!!!) She is a new resident of Colorado, working as an engineer but can't forget that she is a Georgia girl at heart. Xavier is a firm believer in Jesus Christ. She is  really working on truly being a follower. There is a difference. Daily, she looks to die to her flesh and pick up God's mindset for her life. Xavier is also starting a new blog called, "Devoted Diva," in which she is promoting being BOLD for Christ. All of the entries there and those submitted to Memoirs will be a reflection of her journey towards a stronger walk with Christ. She truly hopes that someone is touched, changed and welcomes God in their hearts to stay after reading any of her personal revelations. Love Always, God Bless!