The following is written by contributing writer, Kalu Jane . Before reading sisters let us remember

that courting and dating are totally different. God never inventing dating. He invented marriage. With that said, be prayerful in your decisions while courting someone. You and the young man you're courting should be on the same page spiritually.

Boy meets girl...

They fall in love, boy and girl lives happily ever after. Right? That's not always the case.

Sometimes, we ladies get into a scene/relationship which gloomes at the beginning, but this particular guy forgets about the "happily ever after" bit altogether due to a problem or may be no problem at all and leaves you emptied, heavy, broken, and a desperate ache that makes it hurt to breathe. Venom of regret rushing through your veins each day, and killing every remnant of self worth you have left.

 Sister, before you kill yourself for someone who doesnt know your worth,take a moment,spend some quality time with your maker, in Him you will find peace. Heartbreak shouldn't have to be your purnishment; but an opportunity to draw closer to Jesus. Pour out your pain and trust Him to bind you up. It is the same saviour who promises to mend every rip, tear and hole within us. He is longing to set you free. 

 

JUST LET JESUS!
SOURCES: Isa.61:1, Jn.10:10

I am sharing bits of my book with you, as I touch on a very important lesson that God taught me on a rough, sour but worth it journey. I can say in my lifetime I have had the privilege of sitting on the front row of God’s classroom as He taught on marriage.

God had to break my heart in order to get me ready for my assignment, for five years and five years only I was married. I saw so much, I learned so much and I will forever treasure the memoirs. Waking up to midnight calls from concubines, packing and cleaning after they messed up my bedroom yes matrimonial bedroom, attending to them when they felt to rub it in my face, some confessing and others apologizing; are some of the tests you will endure when you are destiny driven. It made me bitter, it broke my self-esteem, I suspected everyone and my duty was of an investigating officer. I jangled between calling hotels and lodges to find out bookings under my husband’s name, some were real and others weren’t I was a call center for follow up’s of every strange number I found on my husband’s phone screen, I became what I was not because of what I wanted to remain, I wanted to remain a wife even well after I knew I had assistants in the position.

The moment a vacancy is filled, it is no longer available. If a supervisor appoints someone for a vacancy that is already filled, it’s either someone is about to get fired, someone is about to be replaced or the current incumbent is not competent in his or her job. If I had gotten this revelation long enough, I wouldn’t have had plenty pages to write on but destiny brought me here and I am grateful for it.  Day after another I would prepare great warm meals and end up eating alone at times the food will be left on the counter but even that did not stop me from preparing fresh food for the next day, I kept to my wifely duty of picking the very best outfit for my husband because his image represented me as well and it shouted the palace is not falling apart.

I manage to hide anything from everyone that would give them an idea that I was not happy, I would cover up and tell my friends he is out of the country and in just a split of a moment one of our cars would drive by with one of my assistants being the driver. One afternoon while I was busy with my lie statements of cover up, before I could finish saying his travelled out of town he just drove past us, I continued as if I did not see him thou I knew my crowd did, I was being nothing but a godly woman except that I was a lying one for my marriage sake. Later on I started isolating myself from anyone or anything that exposed my husband’s infidelity or recklessness because I chose not to see what was there but what is not there. I resolved to see a great, changed and godly man. I avoided and delayed anything that could lead me into divorce, time and again I was given ultimatums to move out and move on with the reason that it was all "a mistake" I cried, I grieved and yes I had a mental disorder I was sandwiched by a psychologist and a psychiatrist, I was on tranquilizers and my life was slowly but surely crumpling down, I remember walking past a lady seated on a bench in a mall and I overheard her phone conversation she was talking to someone with a similar name as my ex-husband’s and I walked straight next to her waiting for her to finish so I ask her who she was talking to and I wanted to also see on the screen to verify the number, seconds before she hanged up she switched languages and spoke in a language that my ex wouldn’t understand it was then I picked my shopping bag and walked away because then I was assured it’s not him she was talking to, the sad part was this happened when I was not on my medication and should I have been on my medication I would have just laughed and not felt a pinch because that was the side effects because the tranquilizers numbed my feelings. I started confronting, questioning and locking myself up to demonstrate my anger and hurt in cry for a changed man, he remained the man he is while I was losing who I was.

My family, friends and acquaintances had gotten eviction orders because if they came close they would break my husband and me, I built a wall around me to protect my falling home. The fake gifts, fake flowers and fake love that was displayed in the public was for onlookers that scrutinize too much and reveal people’s evil deeds and yes all this worked because some in my world believed in it and thought mine was the idea of what marriage should be. I kept allowing the cycle over and over again, I was stuck in a mental draining, loveless, sexless and no support marriage all in the name of "what will they say" to date I look behind to see who the "theys" are and I do not see any, when in a four walled room all you know is; pain, tears, hurt and fear; you do not break the cycle because it has now become a full part of you. A lifeless season lived within me and I would not do anything to end it because it has become my life. I have seen many people stuck into marriages that are not fruitful, holding on and waiting for a change at some instances the change they waited for was death and that is very sad.

One awesome week while on vacation and counselling at a resort in South Africa I did a lot of thinking, I replayed a lot of films in my mind, I got back home and every evidence I found as proof that my assistants came by meant nothing to me anymore because even whom they visited did not matter anymore, when you push your spouse to a point of "ENOUGH" there is barely almost nothing, anyone or anything that can reverse that, yes God can do all things and nothing is impossible with Him but do not get caught in losing yourself, you fear God and your spouse does not, so why give him godly benefits? When all he or she returns to you is abuse. We need to know when to say enough. I carried burdens and cried myself to sleep every night and after I realized what all this did to me I was not afraid of the world anymore, then the "theys" ceased to exist in my mind and I looked forward to the walk of shame I had to take ahead of me, I must say I was excited. I have never been to prison but I believe it feels the same way when your prison cell is opened up and you are free to go home it was at that moment when my mind was set free, free from mental and emotional abuse. I was going home, where love was waiting for me. On that Saturday afternoon right and there I fell before the Lord, poured my heart out and what had been my home for five years was now just a residential address and I was delighted about the next chapter of my life, I foresaw a joy that awaited me that no one could quench, I saw a strong woman walk out of a prison cell, I must admit it was not by my strength but God held my hand, I got out of the tears, the pains, the long nights of waiting for someone that wouldn’t come, all this miseries had ended and all that was left was my destiny, my purpose and it cried for fulfilment.

Yes I have had the legendary sit in the classroom of marriage and divorce taught me so much about marriage, I am better now than I was…

I do not at all advocate for divorce but VERY IMPORTANT "SAY NO TO ABUSE"

-Sticking to abuse and an unhappy marriage or any relationship does not define your strength and there is no reward to it-

There is no compensation from words such as; he or she is such a strong man or woman, what it in turn means when someone tells you that they are saying you can take in so much garbage they wouldn’t dare do that!

The words that were uttered to me on a daily basis became me, they were as sharp as a sword, it burned like fire, the lips that uttered them turned into a saw that cuts deep through to my heart, they cut through as an arrow would, the tone that was used to communicate to me alone could draw tears from my eyes, it was so scary and traumatizing. Abuse is not only physical, abuse can be emotional, mental and this is even more painful. Do not at any time give in to any sort of abuse; it can cause you your health, your mind, your life and your all. SAY NO TO ABUSE be it you are a man or woman, never mind what society will say.

-I would rather hear society talk in my normal state of mind then hear their voices from behind of an asylum wall-　
 

Yes I have been "In the Chambers of Marriage" today I have a reputation and a tale to tell everyman before they fall in love with me, when I meet my future in laws my introduction now involves I am a divorcee but I am grateful Lord, I am grateful that I do not need to depend on tranquilizers for the rest of my life.

-There came a time when the picture I had drawn about myself through God’s words did not match my situations at hand but still I did not erase it, not because I could not but because I know I am in pursuit of my destiny and I did not want to skip any lesson-

About the Author: Alina Letushila is a woman that has lived 31 years full of grace. She was born in Windhoek Namibia, Africa and is currently a full time Administrator and Part-time Writer and Paralegal Student. Alina is also currently finalizing editing her book "Destiny brought me here" The Debutant of a Christian Divorcee, I have two other books that I have my notes being put together on, titled: "Ann, the Covenant Child of God" and "Don’t trade your stiletto for flops." She is a godly woman, passionate about love, marriage and purity and doesn't advocate for divorce. She  writes to share her  lessons as inspired by the Spirit of God.

https://www.facebook.com/Haileka.Alina

https://instagram.com/firstladyshailah/ 

hailekaa@gmail.com

"I wish that all of you were as I am. But each of you has your own gift from God; one has this gift, another has that." ~1 Corinthians 7:7

The Apostle Paul, refers to his state of singleness as a gift. Many of you are probably thinking to yourself, “Well God, if singleness is a gift, then it’s one that you can take back!” For many, it’s hard to think of singleness as a gift, but during this season of my life where I am very single, God has given me such a revelation on how much of a gift this season really is! Let me start by saying this: I have never been in a relationship in all of my 19 years of living, but I have observed many relationships growing up. Unfortunately, none of them were relationships that have honored God and placed Him first, but when I gave my life to Christ, I began to be exposed to couples who were honoring God, courting His way, and keeping Him first. These couples consisted of people who honored God, even in their single life, so the idea of maintaining godly principles in their relationship was not a foreign or outlandish concept. By the grace of God, I am able to offer a unique perspective on relationships and how singleness is truly a gift after all, having not ever been in a relationship! 

Our single season is a precious time where we can develop in God, be healed from our pasts, learn the Word, and ultimately devote our time and our lives to the Lord. I find many women waiting for their “Boaz” while missing out on the precious time that they can have with God! Paul later goes on to say in verses 32 through 34, “I would like you to be free from concern. An unmarried man is concerned about the Lord’s affairs – how he can please the Lord. But a married man is concerned about the affairs of this world – how he can please his wife – and his interests are divided. An unmarried woman or virgin is concerned about the Lord’s affair: Her aim is to be devoted to the Lord in both body and spirit. But a married woman is concerned about the affairs of this world – how she can please her husband.” First and foremost, what many women (and men) don’t understand is that a relationship is work. Of course there will be fun moments and great times, but that does not negate the fact that a relationship is work. Those of us who are blessed with the gift of singleness for however many seasons of our life the Lord blesses us with this gift, we are free from concern! This is in no way, me trying to make marriage and courtships out to be a negative thing, because relationships are God’s idea and they are beautiful when God is in the midst of it, but this is me trying to get you to understand that singleness is not a curse. A married person’s interest are divided. They are focused on pleasing their spouse, and the Lord. However, those of us who are single can devote our time completely to the Lord. There is so much that we can do for the Kingdom during this time. It’s a precious time that shouldn’t be wasted in waiting. 

As stated previously, as single people we are able to devote our time completely to the Lord. Something that I’ve noticed is that some of us either don’t want to do that, or put it to the side as something we’ll do later, knowing full well that we have no intentions on doing devoting our time to the Lord. With the time that we have, we can spend so much of it with God. During this particular season in my life, after getting saved, while I didn’t fill my time with seeking out relationships I definitely spent a bunch of it on social media, scrolling my life away so this is something that I have been guilty of as well. I was the person who put it aside until later. I would say, “Okay, at 7:30, I’ll read my Bible” but when 7:30 came, I pushed it up 10 minutes and another 10 minutes until I had wasted another hour on social media, so I definitely understand how that happens. However, I had to get real with myself and ask myself, “Where is my heart? Why am I able to put so much time into filling myself up with people’s lives rather than filling myself up with the Word of God?” It’s a heart check that I needed, and I know many others need to as well. Where are our hearts? Why are we so focused on seeking relationships, spending hours on social media, etc. and not fully devoting our time to God? Many of us aren’t lonely when we’re filling up our time with these void fillers; many of us are bored! 

This leads me perfectly into my next point: Go out and live! Although I’ve been single for my entire (short) life, it was only after I got saved that I really began to learn who I was and how to abundant life really is with Christ. This season of my life has been a beautiful time of self-discovery and growth. I’ve learned so much about myself! For instance, I never knew how much I loved History until I sought God wholeheartedly. It’s so incredible to me that in seeking God, we’ll learn about ourselves. During this time, if you want to serve in 10 ministries at your church? Go for it. You want to hold Bible studies at your house? Do it. Fellowship with your sisters in Christ. Go to museums, zoos, and skating rinks with your friends, while of course making sure to always honor God in everything that we do. I’m definitely not saying go out to clubs and get drink. But there are so many ways that you can have fun while honoring God and still have fun! Being single does not equate to having nothing to do. It also does not equate to sitting around and waiting for a man to begin to live your life. 

So, yes. As crazy as it may seem, singleness is a beautiful gift from the Lord that should not be taken for granted. I pray that this encourages every single one of you to enjoy whatever season God has blessed you to be in, whether that is singleness, courtship, marriage, or marriage with children. No matter what circumstance we’re in, we need not ever feel that we are “cursed.” God loves us so much, through every season of our lives! 

About the Author: Anijeh Green is currently a sophomore in college. She is majoring in Education with a concentration in English. She's completely in love with Jesus Christ and excited about the life that He has called her to lead. Anijeh hopes to bless people with her love and gift of writing. 

I am really struggling with the concept of what is believed to be loved in the world today and to be

quite honest I am concerned!

A few months ago I was in my cell group (a group of 10 - 15 believers, who meet weekly to build a small manageable community within a big church) we were in the middle of worship when I felt led to kneel down and so I did. Then I began to see a vision of a male figure (who I perceived to be Jesus) walk towards me, there was a great light beaming from behind him. Then I quickly took a pen and paper and wrote down the following words and scripture.

My King dressed in white and gold coming towards me with hands stretched forward - meeting me here on my knees.

Ezekiel 3:10
And He said to me, "Son of man, listen carefully and take to heart all the words I speak to you."

And like that the vision ended. I sat for a few seconds waiting to hear but nothing... Cell ended and I went on with life and almost forgot about this vision until a few weeks later I met a person who when I thought about, I was reminded of this vision.

Why am I telling you this?  Well because with this I realized how different God's ways and thoughts are and I want to encourage you to listen! God is such a great lead He doesn't just push us into things He tells us and in a way prepares us for the path ahead.

With this vision God began a journey where He is teaching me what love is and I must tell you this, something does not match up!

I've taken a good listen to conversations on the radio to songs, I watch people and I watch television. From the get go I realized that the love I previously knew and the love I have now also observed in today's world is broken. Ladies this is not the original design, it just isn't! Right now we have the opportunity to choose which one we want. 

Do we really want the love that is defined by a society with a broken moral system:

1.The "everyone is doing it that way" love? Love where two people are together but it’s okay to lust over and entertain others on the side? No we say, yet we are double tapping pictures of naked bodies and inboxing each other just for "fun".

2. Love that leaves us crying more than we smile? No we say, yet we live in the reality of these lyrics “You're way too beautiful girl. That's why it'll never work. You'll have me suicidal, suicidal. When you say it's over. Some even in the reality of these lyrics Just gonna stand there and watch me burn. But that’s all right because I like the way it hurts. Just gonna stand there and hear me cry. But that’s all right because I love the way you lie. I love the way you lie. Oh, I love the way you lie.

3. Love where we tie ourselves to each other only to carelessly tear each other apart. No we say yet we have sex on the 3rd date and if it doesn't work out it's okay find another one do the same with a few others till you find one that's okay to marry but oh divorce after 72 hours.

Please let's learn the truth, let's live the truth and realize the joy and excitement that it produces.

Firstly there is one true love, God. He made us in His image and if according to His word, His love has no beginning and has no ending, His love is unfailing and unconditional that is how our love should be.

The most amazing part is that He doesn't condemn me, He doesn't even condemn you!

So we can boldly leave behind the broken way of receiving and giving love and say yes to the real love.

This love...

1 Corinthians 13:4 - 13, "Love is patient and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up; 5 does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil;  does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails. But whether there are prophecies, they will fail; whether there are tongues, they will cease; whether there is knowledge, it will vanish away. For we know in part and we prophesy in part. But when that which is perfect has come, then that which is in part will be done away. When I was a child, I spoke as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child; but when I became a man, I put away childish things. For now we see in a mirror, dimly, but then face to face. Now I know in part, but then I shall know just as I also am known. And now abide faith, hope, love, these three; but the greatest of these is love.

This isn’t just a lovely chapter to read at weddings it produces such a beautiful reward when applied. Love that is a decision and a daily proactive choice. Love that first builds friendship - a good foundation, love that makes a covenant on the right terms, love that has God as the goal, love that is together against broken love. 

 

About the Author: Mbali Mahlangu is a 21-year-old Bible College student and Owner of Isiba

Emporium-www.isibaemporium.co.za. She is born to serve and lead.

 

We've all been there, wondering when God would send your Adam to you.Wondering how you'll know its him. You're leaning on to your own understanding entertaining any young man or boy that comes your way. You're trying to mold these men into something you're praying for your. Sisters I want you to realize you can't change anyone. I've been there and done that and once you truly realize your worth in Christ you'll continually be confused.

Needless, to say, I've realized my worth and I have opted not to settle for less than I deserve and in this season I think of my dad who was such a God fearing man. A few years ago, I told myself that I wouldn't entertain any man that didn't have the heart of my father that loves God and is a fearless leader. I don't have time to twist and transform any man to meet my standards but I do have time to be patient for the man God has prepared for me.

One of the things many of you are hoping for at the moment is "Where is he?" Or there any good God fearing men left? To answer your question, if its in God's will, he exists for you and yes I'm sure there are plenty left. Your job is to focus on Christ and become Ruth before you hope for Boaz.

"But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well."~Matt.6:33

So ladies, God is waiting on you to be patient and focus solely on him. In your season of waiting I would encourage to not pray for a husband but instead pray for your future husband. I hope you see the difference.

Pray that this man....

Continues to grow spiritually.
Has the ability to hear God's voice.
Be healed from all emotional wounds.
Be healed from any harmful addictions.
Be a fearless leader for your future home.
Progresses in his career, realizing and fulfilling the calling God has on his life.
Grows as a responsible steward financially for the Lord.
Isn't distracted from things of this world, that take away from his preparation.

...and lastly pray that this man loves you as Christ loves the church. Many wonder what love truly is and I will firmly say God is Love. Until you or a man doesn't realize your worth or truly understand the love God has for you than you won't understand love. Continue to be blessed ladies and if there are any prayers you have for your future husband, comment below.

Stay encouraged!~Danielle

"Love is...Patient. Kind. Does Not Envy. Does Not Boast. Is Not Proud.Is Not Rude. Is Not Selfish. Is Not Easily Angered. Keeps No Record of Wrongs. Does Not Delight in Evil. Rejoices in Truth. Always Protects. Always Trusts. Always Hopes. Always Perseveres. Love...Never Fails"~1

 Photo Credit: Contributing Photographer,
Shelby Steckbaur
For more of Shelby's work visit
shelbyraephotographs.com 

Corinthians 13:4-8

As mentioned before in a couple of previous posts, this site is filled with reflection and growth. None of desire to be the same person we were last year or even yesterday. So as the saying goes, "When you know better, you do better." Right? And the above scripture can be placed in various areas of our lives whether it be friendships, family, or relationships. Yet, this post focuses on relationships. I ask you, what is love? How do you express love? What is the true meaning of love? There are many of us that have said the "L" word prematurely, not knowing how powerful it really is, making things very complicated in the long run.

When I think of love at this point in my life, I know that its exactly how Christ loves us. Several years ago, that probably wouldn't have been my answer. Instead if would've been very vague and delusional to be 1 Corinthians 13:4-8. My answer wouldn't have been pleasing to God because he knows I deserve better. It would be an answer of me expressing my soul to someone that didn't even see Christ's love for themselves. Ladies how can a man love you without loving Christ first? He can't! If he's not in a covenant relationship with our Savior he doesn't understand. It took me awhile to realize that, but thank God for deliverance and protecting me from things I didn't need.

                                                Love is Patient. Love is Kind

We've all heard the phrase, actions speak louder than words but in this case I believe they both speak equally. Words can destroy our spirit. I'm reminded of be slow to speak and quick to listen. If you're being called everything outside of a child of God for no reason, that isn't love! Be kind to each other. Have patience and recognize patience or lack of. Never allow anyone to pressure you into something, in which you prefer to wait. Patience is a virtue.

                                       Love Does Not Envy, Boast, Nor is it Proud 

Pride is something that is running rampant in our society right now. How does effect you? Is there something in your relationship that you should be doing but you'd rather not because of selfish pride? When it comes to boasting, be humble instead. Being humble is one of the best qualities you could have. Humbleness, goes a long way in all areas of our lives.

                                 Love is Not, Rude, Self Seeking or Easily Angered

Again, be slow to speak and quick to listen. Also respect is key in everything, so treat others as you would want to be treated in a courteous manner.

                                             Love Keeps No Records of Wrongs

I'm sure you know by now that Christ doesn't hold our past against us. But instead, when we're in him, everything is new. Unfortunately that isn't the case on earth. We're surrounded by those that hold grudges and love to resurface your wrongs when you think you've both moved on. Forgive! Forgive as Christ Forgave you!

                                                  Love Does Not Delight in Evil

This one, is a big one! All of these are important but this one should put into perspective of how everything else is established. Why? Because discernment is key! Knowing if someone or something is good for you or a drain for you. Brief example, two years ago while struggling to make a decision about a young man I'd been dealing with, I'd prayed to God to free me from the chains of someone that did nothing but drain me physically and emotionally. After praying, I assume there was a part of me that didn't want to listen to God, concerned of what was next. Instead God made sure I would hear him loud and clear, in a dream I had of snake. In fact this dream was the scariest dream I'd ever had, waking up just before being bitten. Confirmation? Yes. Because everything I was going through at that time was embodied in the dream. Had I not listened to God, that bite could've been real.

                                                      Love Rejoices with Truth

One of the biggest things that bothers me in someone are lies. Be honest with each other, no matter how much you think the truth hurts.

                                                  Love Always Protects and Trusts

Ladies its never good to be in a state of helplessness with someone that just doesn't care about your well-being. Maybe that person gets joy out of calling you names or abusing physically and mentally. Again, how can someone love you, if they don't love Christ. A man should love you as Christ loves the church. As far as trust is concerned, you should be confident in the decisions the other person makes. Be confident that they are led by God in their decisions. Again, discernment is key.

                          Love Always Hopes. Love Always Perseveres and Never Fails

Forget what your friends say that may be bitter. Love always hopes. There's always hope in love. Anything outside of that are lies from hell. In this earthly life we live, we make things so complicated when everything we need to know is in plain black and white in scripture. Of course, we're going to go through obstacles but when it comes to love some of us willingly place ourselves in situations that will pain us. Love God's way. There's no other way.

I've heard it quite a few times from other girls, "But he said, he's a christian."And I immediately want them to stop and think about the definition of not only a christian man but a christian in general. Because lets be real (as always) there are many that don't understand the definition of being a true christian. To some of us its sitting in the pews every Sunday morning or to others it may be dusting off your bibles every now in then when you're in trouble or when you're blessed with something amazing in your life.

My point is its not consistency.

So before we go any farther this isn't all about recognizing a wolf in sheep's clothing when it comes to guy that approaches you. Its also about you ladies. Are you examining yourselves also? Are you what you say you desire?

A man that says he's a Christian but doesn't embody the following below is only whispering what you want to hear. Trust me, I had to learn that the hard way.

Topping the list, a man of prayer. Someone that is led by the spirit and not the flesh. Yes, I know anyone can say "I pray" but does he truly surrender all to God in all areas of his life?

And speaking of being lead by the flesh, a man that shows you respect, to protect your sexual purity. Ladies their nothing loving about a man always lusting after your body or trying to take something that is so sacred and meant for marriage. If you've stated your celibacy is a part of life until marriage and this man completely ignores it. He's not for you. I repeat, he's not for you. Along with protecting you in that aspect a true Christian man would never raise his hand at you. He's a protector. He loves you as Christ loved the church. Sadly many don't know this love. If you're wondering what true love
is...

                                                                   GOD IS LOVE

Secondly, a man of leadership. A man led by God is a true leader of his life and eventually become an incredible leader for his home. The only leading a "worldly man" does is leading you on to something that will never happen or leading you into temptation. For more regarding this, I encourage to read my previous article "Courting vs Dating: Why I Don't Believe in Dating" here.

A man of vision-He sees possibilities in his future. He has goals. He's ambitious. With him, anything is possible that pleases God.

Trustworthiness-A true man of God can be trusted. He's not a liar. He's not hiding anything from you. Which leads me to communication. If there are no open lines of communication when something goes wrong, that's another red flag. Yes, I know men and women are different but communication is key when building relationships. Just as your relationship with the Lord requires communication to grow and flourish, so does your earthly courtship.

I've always been taught from my parents to be equally yoked and yes just like many of you, I strayed off from the path. But what I've learned out of all of it is if I don't have a sense of peace about someone than its not for me. If my spirit discerns something that isn't of God. Its not for me. For more reading on true love God's way, I encourage to also read my article, "Love Is..." here.

And remember ladies if you desire an Ephesians 5 man, you are to first examine yourselves.

Looking at the generation that’s coming up, I see young women giving

themselves (physically, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually) just to feel love.

I see young women trying to fit in with what the crowd is doing, not understand that you are to be pursued, not understanding their true worth. True love (unconditional love) is found only in Jesus Christ. I have been there and I’m still learning.

I have been the lonely woman trying to find love in all the wrong places. Trying to find a man to validate me not realizing that Jesus Christ validated me when he died for my sins. I've been the woman who gave myself (physically) to find love when in reality it left me empty. That moment of pleasure left me with a lot of hurt, consequences, and disgust.

We have to be careful to not give ourselves away to everyone we come in contact with. Sex is one of the most overrated things that is place in front of our faces everywhere. We can’t escape sex. God gives everyone the desire to have sex but he wants it under the covenant of marriage between man and woman. The reason why sex can be dangerous if not done in marriage, is because when you have sex, you release a hormone called oxytocin (a bonding hormone) which connects you intimately with the person you have sex with. This is how people who are having premarital sex can’t seem to let people go that they know are not supposed to be with.

I’m here to encourage you to seek God, give him your entire heart, your life and watch him move in a mighty way. Also surround yourself with people who are living for God, join ministries that are honoring Christ. Beautiful, you are loved, you are a daughter of the most high, you are a gem and when you accept Christ as your Lord and Savior, He looks at you as if you never sinned. Romans 5:8 says, “But God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.”

I hope this has blesses someone as much as it has blessed me writing it.~Latisha

Here’s a list of ministries to get involved in on your journey with Christ:

Pinky Promise: www.pinkypromisemovement.com (Thousands of groups worldwide)

Saved in the City (Can be found on Instagram)
Life Groups in Huntsville, Atlanta, Nashville, and Washington D.C.

Dating-Its the most common term used in our culture today describing relationships, while courting as seen as an old fashioned term that's long gone to our generation. 

Photo Credit: Contributing photographer

Shelby Steckbaur

For more of Shelby's work visit

shelbyraephotographs.com

I'm sure I'm speaking to many young ladies when I reference pain concerning relationships. How many of you been involved in situations where you're not leaning on God's understanding, but rather your own, to please your fleshly desires? How many of you have dated without a purpose? Is dating a trial run for your future as a practice of divorce-finding yourself with a different man all too frequently? If you're answering yes to any of these questions, I want you to reflect as to why you're doing this.

Some of our parents  used the term courting, "No courting until 16!" Little did they know the world had other plans for teenage, college age, or girls in their twenties. The world wants us to dip into a "good time" with no purpose, no meaning-only a live for now experience. Young men, selling dreams to your hearts with no real intentions. Its all a game to both of you in which surely someone will get hurt. 

I see dating as a way of two individuals having no desire to be seriously committed. Ladies entertaining multiple men is unacceptable. It's not for you to take matters into your own hands to "find" anything. Not only that, but there's no transparency. Both people are trying to be someone they're not, instead of placing their real qualities on the table. Dating is all about "finding" when neither should be looking for the other. Ladies, its not your job to look for a man. If you remember Ruth was working with Boaz discovered her. She was focused. Submit to God. Stay focused on you and the rest shall follow. And yes, I know ladies the bible tells us "He who finds a wife." (Prov. 18:22). But I do believe this scripture is taking completely out of context. I'm sure the most upright, man of God isn't constantly searching for a needle in a haystack. But in all things, on God's time it will be revealed to him. 

Dating also, knows little about submission. Ladies, remember if a man hasn't fully submitted to God, how can he respect you? He should embrace you as Christ loved the Church.

Dating has no boundaries. Ladies, why give husband privileges to the ungodly boyfriend? Sex, money, etc.) It all goes back to the saying "Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?" Courting on the other hand sees God as the true source. Its a time of being selflessness and honoring God for the best he has to offer you. Courtship doesn't desire to tempt you or compromise your morals and values. The bottom line is two individuals should running as fast they can to Christ and in due time God will introduce them to one another.  Stay encouraged ladies!

"Flee also youthful lusts: but follow righteousness, faith, charity, peace, with them that call on the Lord out of a pure heart."~2 Timothy 2:22