Yes, my eyes even tear up now as I write this.
The whole fantasy is played out in my head as though I were either watching it on a TV screen or living it out in real life. One of my favorite Boyz II Men songs will be sang A Capella. Your best man will put his hand on your shoulder to give you a congratulatory pat and to help you stay strong as you view your bride for the first time. The minister will smile with pride knowing that the pre-marital counseling was fruitful. The bridesmaids will be smiling, perhaps a little misty eyed themselves as they look at me and then look to you to see that first glance. Our mothers will be crying and smiling. Relatives and friends from near and far will seem to be glowing at the sight of our holy matrimony. You are wearing a nice tux or suit and I'm graced in an elegant wedding gown, slowly walking to take on a new name and a new ministry as your helpmeet.
Sounds beautiful doesn't it? No wonder I'm obsessed with the idea.
By now I've spent most of my single life up until this day, this day that the two become one, worrying about you and about marriage. Every Christian book and blog there is with sound advice on the matter, I've read. Many a Christian ministries have capitalized off of me (and plenty of other women) that wanted advice on godly dating, how to be a wife, courtship, resisting lust/temptation/sex before marriage and that's been my focus. Many men came before you and a few of those were after I became serious about my walk with Christ and what did I do? I was trying my hardest to make them you because I was following along with those books/blogs/Christian women's ministers/speakers. I followed the rules, trying to force those rules and myself on them, and ran them away. But this time, I followed God and you ran to me!
I hope and pray that before you read this letter, that I decided to give God my whole heart and to pursue a relationship with him and not a man. I pray that I can allow him to use me in ministries and in spreading the GOSPEL. Because truth be told, I'm sick of everyone spreading "single/marriage/courting/dating/sex" advice and not spreading the one true act of love that is eternal, fulfilling, and lasting...the death of Jesus Christ on the cross of Calvary! I know that this is a scripture that we are going to use in the ceremony that will bind our earthly love and marriage. But I also think that this scripture points to an everlasting love and a heavenly marriage between Christ and his Church (us):
"Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance. Prophecy and speaking in unknown languages will become useless. But love will last forever!" - 1 Corinthians 13:4-8
As much as I love you my now husband, I cannot promise that I will be patient, kind, not jealous/boastful, not irritable, and not keeping records of the things you do that really irk my nerves haha all of the time nor perfectly. I can't guarantee that I won't be petty sometimes and be happy when "karma" comes back on you. I can't guarantee that I won't want to give up sometimes, lose faith, or remain hopeful during rough patches at times. But I know that since God is love and is perfect that he can give us all that kind of love! Not only that, but that scripture above says "But love will last forever". Our vows say "Til death do us part.." As much as we will repeat our vows with excitement and passion, our "forever" will end when our spirits leave our bodies. But that's okay because Romans 8:37-38 remind me that not even death can separate us from the love of Christ.
So my husband, I pray that while we are both single (as I write this) that we seek that love with all of our hearts and spread it with all of our might to those out there that don't know it and/or need to hear it the most. And I pray that when we get married that we don't let this wedding day or our lives as husband and wife consume us so much that we forget to continue spreading that love and making disciples for Christ.
Love you,
Your Future Wife
Daphne Benford-Smith
About the Author: Daphne Benford-Smith is a recent graduate from the University of North Texas. A single woman that lives by "If you're not living for the Lord, I'm not your Ruth so take your Boaz somewhere else!" Avid writer for her blog "Confessions of a Christian Woman" or daphnemariahandjc.blogspot.com as a hobby. She's an educator because it's her passion and purpose. And is ultimately a woman that is seeking the Lord with all her heart because He's all she's got! Although she's not perfect in that walk and has painful or funny stories she shares with the world through writing as a result."
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