Road to Redemption

The following guest post has been contributed to "Memoirs of a Virtuous Woman" by an anonymous writer that hopes you're encouraged by her words of incredible strength from a painful past. She reminds you that God is always waiting on you to find your way back to the cross, no matter how far lost you have walked away from the narrow path. He's waiting. He's listening. He's watching. And his unchanging hand will always welcome you back.



Hey ladies! First, I would like to thank God for allowing me out of my past and giving me the opportunity to minister and speak life into you! I'm here to tell you; no matter the circumstance, you are not your past, there is always a Road to Redemption. By His stripes we are all healed and He died for our transgressions. We have been reassured that our past is forgotten and our iniquities forgiven. Trust me, the news gets better! Not only will He forget your past; He will set it up in a way that others will not remember. Once you have repented and began your Road to Redemption, he will recreate you, make you anew, give you a new life. Isaiah 43:25 reminds us two truths:

                                              1.) He will blot out or erase our sins. 

                                              2.) He will no longer remember them. 

It is stated, "I, even I, am he who blots out your transgressions, for my own sake, and remembers your sins no more. " I'm here to tell you the life God has destined for you can not and will not be held back because of your past. Although you may get discouraged and life may get you down, there is power in the name of Jesus and there is strength in His word. I want you to know, NO MATTER what you have done, you can go to Him in prayer.

Which leads you to my story...

I grew up in the church and very connected to God. When I was sixteen I lost my virginity and most of my self esteem and self respect went with it. As time progressed my 'body count' had risen to about four in a matter of months; in the teens over two years; and now close to twenty. Beginning my freshman year of college I wanted to reinvent myself from the promiscuous spirit that I had developed. Little did I know, habit was oh so hard to break. I made myself feel better though by making sure that I only slept with a man if I were in a relationship with him ... well, that's after I had slept with two guys who were in relationships themselves. I remember I would 'talk' to a guy for a week then think it's ok to be with him. All because I felt like I was not being 'as promiscuous'.

Soon enough, I had fallen into a party lifestyle and I had been placed on academic probation. I was really living 'the life': you know, sex, drugs, and alcohol. I would still go to church every now and then; you know, to keep the lines of communication open; between me and God, so he didn't forget about me. Soon enough I had met my match. He was charming, sweet, hard working, a praying man!

But he didn't mind me smoking, drinking, partying, or our premarital sex. I trusted him, and fell for him. I fell pretty hard! FLAT ON MY FACE that is!

I had trusted him so much that we had stopped using condoms and never thought to use protection during oral sex. From that relationship, I contracted Chlamydia, Herpes, HPV, a broken spirit, a broken heart, a spirit of depression, a spirit of suicide, and a heart not willing to open up.

One night, I had taken sleeping pills, liquid sleeping medicine, about two or three shots of vodka, and slipped in the tub. I was ready for whatever would happen. It didn't work and over the course of about a month of battling to stay with him, praying to get through it, and about two more suicide attempts, I won. So, I began to heal, or so I thought. I went out with my girls and found me a man ... to sleep with

Why did I think the same way I got in this mess was the same way I'd get out?

Anyway, me and my girls went back to his place with him and his boys. They brought us alcohol and weed. We smoked and drank and was all feeling good! Me and the guy went into the back room and started to ... well, you know. Certainly I felt instant conviction. I told him to stop and he wouldn't. I was crying and asking him over and over to stop. I convinced myself that if I hadn't been drinking and out looking for trouble that would've never happened. Yes, that may be true, however, he also should have stopped. Since that night I have forgiven him. Simply because holding onto hurt much more than letting go.

One night after I thought I had healed (without the REAL help of God by the way), I found myself broken, yet again. Lonely. Scared. I wanted to smoke, I needed to get high. I didn't have any weed and couldn't find any on campus to buy. At that point, as I lay in my bed, I looked over and saw my Bible. I picked it up and started reading. It was then I realized when I had nothing I still had God. It was also then I realized I should never allow myself to be in a place where I say well, if I have nothing else, God I have you.

Since then, I have grown in ministry and I am definitely still growing in His name. You see sister, He will deliver you from your darkest places, because you have a calling on your life and you must fulfill your calling.

Romans 8:28-31 says, "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. For those God foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the image of his Son, that he might be the firstborn among many brothers and sisters. And those he predestined, he also called; those he called, he also justified; those he justified, he also glorified. What, then, shall we say in response to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us?" 

My sister! How glorious is it that we are reassured that our destiny is set in stone, that no one can erase our name and replace it with their own, my sister! How marvelous is this word that it comforts us at our darkest hours? He never said the weapons wouldn't form, He only said he wouldn't let them prosper my sister. My journey has not been perfect; however, my purpose is! I am blessed to go through what I have gone through. I'm stronger, more resilient, more loving, understanding, and kind. It's brought me back to My Father!

I am here to let you know today that it's going to be all right. Your breakthrough is coming, you have to hold on and wait until the morning to see it. You must understand your destiny is greater than your downfall! Speak life over yourself, cry it out in the shower, STAY in your word, have faith, and be be encouraged.

~Anonymously, GRlorious Redemption