It's human nature to waste things we have no appreciation of. Hence the reason why we teach our children from toddlers responsibility. Pick up after yourself. Don't destroy your property or somebody else's. Say please and thank you. But what about the area of self respect? Do we stress to our little girls and boys the importance of their purity? Do we emphasize its importance and rehearse often to them why? Do they understand why they shouldn't waste water, more than they understand why they shouldn't waste themselves?
I know for me growing up in my household, the extent of a chastity conversation was, "Don't do it because YOU WILL get pregnant, and I'm not taking care of no mo' babies!" This was well understood. However, there was no value placed anywhere before, after or in between those warnings. Only the consequences. I think it should also be stated here that our parents and guardians did the best they could for us. A lot, if not all of what was taught to my generation, was passed down from the previous ones before. However, we were robbed of some vital jewels and pearls of wisdom. I think this had everything to do with the fact that certain conversations were off limits!
In certain cultures, sex is not discussed in detail. It is simply skimmed over and abbreviated. It's usually attached to threats of pregnancy, disease and homelessness. Ok well that takes care of the fear part, but what about the beauty of waiting? It has also been proven that it takes more than the fear of God to lead someone in the right direction. It takes love. Teach me to love myself and I will do whatever you ask of me. Why? Because now I trust you. You have my best interest at heart, and I can believe in whatever you tell me.
One definition of virtue is--- the good result that comes from something. Are we teaching our children the good results that comes from staying pure and chaste in their body, soul and mind? Or are we calling down fire and brimstone from heaven, hoping this will keep them away from normal human curiosity? If we as adults, Christian or not, know the consequences of not waiting to partake in sexual activity before marriage, we should work hard to rescue our kids from those same consequences. But not through the doom and gloom of fear. But by emphasizing the worth of a chaste woman and man. Yeah so what, nobody did it for us, we had to fend for ourselves! But if you could go back wouldn't you have wanted someone who cared enough to say something? I know I would've. I wish I'd had the perfect balance of admonition and why I should wait. Unfortunately like so many, I didn't get that until many mistakes later. But thanks be to God, the cycle can stop with me! If one day I'm blessed to become a mother, my children WILL get, "the talk", and they will know and understand early on, the value of them holding onto their purity.
This is all to say, don't be so quick to judge them who waste their virtue. It's obvious they weren't taught its value and therefore they're wasting themselves without any care of the consequences. There's many deficiencies there, but with the help of Jesus it can be cured if desired. Teach them the value of self. Start with self-worth and end by telling them God has a purpose for their bodies that's greater than sex.
About the Author: Virtue is written by Shan Mahogany. She is also the author of "Emphasis on Love: A Compilation of Poems."
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