The Gift of Singleness?

"I wish that all of you were as I am. But each of you has your own gift from God; one has this gift, another has that." ~1 Corinthians 7:7

The Apostle Paul, refers to his state of singleness as a gift. Many of you are probably thinking to yourself, “Well God, if singleness is a gift, then it’s one that you can take back!” For many, it’s hard to think of singleness as a gift, but during this season of my life where I am very single, God has given me such a revelation on how much of a gift this season really is! Let me start by saying this: I have never been in a relationship in all of my 19 years of living, but I have observed many relationships growing up. Unfortunately, none of them were relationships that have honored God and placed Him first, but when I gave my life to Christ, I began to be exposed to couples who were honoring God, courting His way, and keeping Him first. These couples consisted of people who honored God, even in their single life, so the idea of maintaining godly principles in their relationship was not a foreign or outlandish concept. By the grace of God, I am able to offer a unique perspective on relationships and how singleness is truly a gift after all, having not ever been in a relationship! 

Our single season is a precious time where we can develop in God, be healed from our pasts, learn the Word, and ultimately devote our time and our lives to the Lord. I find many women waiting for their “Boaz” while missing out on the precious time that they can have with God! Paul later goes on to say in verses 32 through 34, “I would like you to be free from concern. An unmarried man is concerned about the Lord’s affairs – how he can please the Lord. But a married man is concerned about the affairs of this world – how he can please his wife – and his interests are divided. An unmarried woman or virgin is concerned about the Lord’s affair: Her aim is to be devoted to the Lord in both body and spirit. But a married woman is concerned about the affairs of this world – how she can please her husband.” First and foremost, what many women (and men) don’t understand is that a relationship is work. Of course there will be fun moments and great times, but that does not negate the fact that a relationship is work. Those of us who are blessed with the gift of singleness for however many seasons of our life the Lord blesses us with this gift, we are free from concern! This is in no way, me trying to make marriage and courtships out to be a negative thing, because relationships are God’s idea and they are beautiful when God is in the midst of it, but this is me trying to get you to understand that singleness is not a curse. A married person’s interest are divided. They are focused on pleasing their spouse, and the Lord. However, those of us who are single can devote our time completely to the Lord. There is so much that we can do for the Kingdom during this time. It’s a precious time that shouldn’t be wasted in waiting. 

As stated previously, as single people we are able to devote our time completely to the Lord. Something that I’ve noticed is that some of us either don’t want to do that, or put it to the side as something we’ll do later, knowing full well that we have no intentions on doing devoting our time to the Lord. With the time that we have, we can spend so much of it with God. During this particular season in my life, after getting saved, while I didn’t fill my time with seeking out relationships I definitely spent a bunch of it on social media, scrolling my life away so this is something that I have been guilty of as well. I was the person who put it aside until later. I would say, “Okay, at 7:30, I’ll read my Bible” but when 7:30 came, I pushed it up 10 minutes and another 10 minutes until I had wasted another hour on social media, so I definitely understand how that happens. However, I had to get real with myself and ask myself, “Where is my heart? Why am I able to put so much time into filling myself up with people’s lives rather than filling myself up with the Word of God?” It’s a heart check that I needed, and I know many others need to as well. Where are our hearts? Why are we so focused on seeking relationships, spending hours on social media, etc. and not fully devoting our time to God? Many of us aren’t lonely when we’re filling up our time with these void fillers; many of us are bored! 

This leads me perfectly into my next point: Go out and live! Although I’ve been single for my entire (short) life, it was only after I got saved that I really began to learn who I was and how to abundant life really is with Christ. This season of my life has been a beautiful time of self-discovery and growth. I’ve learned so much about myself! For instance, I never knew how much I loved History until I sought God wholeheartedly. It’s so incredible to me that in seeking God, we’ll learn about ourselves. During this time, if you want to serve in 10 ministries at your church? Go for it. You want to hold Bible studies at your house? Do it. Fellowship with your sisters in Christ. Go to museums, zoos, and skating rinks with your friends, while of course making sure to always honor God in everything that we do. I’m definitely not saying go out to clubs and get drink. But there are so many ways that you can have fun while honoring God and still have fun! Being single does not equate to having nothing to do. It also does not equate to sitting around and waiting for a man to begin to live your life. 

So, yes. As crazy as it may seem, singleness is a beautiful gift from the Lord that should not be taken for granted. I pray that this encourages every single one of you to enjoy whatever season God has blessed you to be in, whether that is singleness, courtship, marriage, or marriage with children. No matter what circumstance we’re in, we need not ever feel that we are “cursed.” God loves us so much, through every season of our lives! 

About the Author: Anijeh Green is currently a sophomore in college. She is majoring in Education with a concentration in English. She's completely in love with Jesus Christ and excited about the life that He has called her to lead. Anijeh hopes to bless people with her love and gift of writing.